What AI Says About the Novus Ordo Mass

If you hold the position that the Novus Ordo Mass is heterodox, that is that it officially deviates from Catholic teaching, consider that even AI considers this an objective fact beyond subjective opinion, and secondarily that Church teaching itself directs us to avoid it.  

I asked it questions, and it gave statements it said, when asked, are not opinions or its own opinion, but objective facts.  Here is the syllogism based on facts (major and minor premises):

If a liturgy, even if approved by a pope, inverts the ends of the Mass, making the sacrifice and transcendental worship secondary, and the communion and memorial aspects primary, then  that is heterodox, that is it deviates from Church teaching (fact).

The Novus Ordo in its prescribed structure, prayers, and rubrics emphasizes communion  and memorial as primary, and the sacrifice and transcendental  worship as secondary (fact). 

Therefore, as politically incorrect it is to conclude this, logic dictates that the Novus Ordo is heterodox, it deviates from Church teaching   The inversion itself is as a matter of fact, not subjective opinion, Protestant and heterodox. 

AI also quoted many Catholic theological sources including Vatican sources that instruct the faithful to avoid liturgies that have liturgical abuse.  Yet inverting the order of the Mass is objectively an abuse of the liturgy, therefore generally (and ironically) the Church herself in essence instructs us to avoid, and excuses us from attending, the Novus Ordo, even if it is celebrated with great reverence and solemnity and there is no accessible Latin Mass.

This is most what the liturgical debate is about, not about esthetics and liturgical traditions like chant, Latin, or ad orientem. 

This is ultimately why faithful Catholics must attend the Latin Mass and not the Novus Ordo. 

This question comes down to us admitting that 1+ 1 = 2, when the current authorities are telling us to believe that 1 + 1 = 3.  It goes against our God given conscience, common sense, and sanity to accept something that is false to be true, in the name of obedience, which is only absolute with regard to the divine law.

It is ironic that even AI admits the facts, within the context of the Catholic Faith.  AI isn’t God, but it is incredibly informed and logical. 

Pray for Pope Francis

He's in the hospital.  The media is portraying this as more urgent than a routine hospitalization. Pray he repents from his modernism and liberalism and for what he has done to faithful Catholics.  Our God is the God of miracles and can restore his faith to its integrity before his time comes.  And besides, regardless of how bad a pope he is, we should love him because he is the pope, our Holy Father, Christ's Vicar on Earth.

Rise Above

It is time for us seekers of  goodness and truth to rise above all the nonsense of the majority of people of this modern world, and that representative, dominating minority that is the face of our current society.  I am talking about people who behave like pests, who drag down Salt-of-the-Earth people with them, who can wear us down into a chronically bad state. 

I am talking about the bullies and elites in every sector of society, and their enablers, those whose minds are in a default state of subjectivism, personal bias, prejudging everyone around them, ready to willingly assassinate peoples’ character and erase them from the group, to harm the innocent when expedient and self-serving.

These are the people who not only contracted the virus of narcissism, which is an epidemic, of outright pathological levels of pride and vanity, but sought it out in the first place to get infected.  They wanted self-glory, to dominate others, to sell their soul to the world to be accepted, and to live a life devoted to pleasing the self (hedonism). 

These are the people who measure themselves and others primarily in terms of money, career advancement, influence, social status, and fitness (physical and psychological), and secondarily, or not at all, in terms of wisdom and virtue, character, faith, authenticity, let alone being Christ-like.  

AKA being meek and humble.  Which they reduce to weakness. 

The evidence that this is the reality is the historical record of popular culture since the 1960’s.  It is undeniable. This culture has only exponentially unfolded one decade after another.

These are pests, and we must rise above them, just like an eagle rises above crows. Crows are pests that harass eagles. They often resort to harassment, prejudice of all kinds, rashly and idiotically judging people as if they are a blank slate of little value until proven otherwise, or by skin level surface features, resorting to slander, detraction, and calumny, ostracization, and psychological and social murder.  They do this while lacking self-awareness that this is precisely what they are doing, or that it is ultimately causing  self-harm. 

If the eagle  took its time to fight the crow, it would win because it is a more excellent creature, smarter and stronger.  But the eagle usually doesn’t because if it did, while it would win, it would get fatigued and have to land on ground.  

Instead the eagle’s  power is the ability to fly at very high altitudes, and higher than the crow.  So to beat the crow, all it has to do is fly to an altitude at which the crow is incapable of flying.  That’s what we must do.

I confess I’ve not always dealt well with the crows in my past. I’m still to this day trying to finally rise above them all in my mind, as a strong habit. And I’m not absolutely innocent of their ways.  I can let them get to me sometimes, wear me down, fatigue me, and make me land on ground instead of soar.  

It is merely an illusion that their worldly success is the real measure of success in this life, on this planet, in this one life God gives us, by which God determines our eternal destiny, chiefly by how much we love Him and every person He puts in our life.  How we treat others.

Sadly, there are crows even among us, that is people who profess Roman Catholicism, orthodoxy, and devotion to tradition. Or people who identify with  politically and socially conservative Christianity opposed to the culture of death and the culture of lust. 

But those crows are not hard to identify.  They act just like the worldly, secular narcissists who thrive on being superior to others, except they carry around rosaries or Latin Mass missals, and treat the parish not as much as the Catholic Church at the most local, public level, but as a country club for the supposedly elite. 

The key is to stand your ground, fraternally correct if necessary, if at all, and as soon as possible rise above them.  Leave them in the past and below you for good, since they are trouble makers and scandalous to the community of believers, by giving misleading bad example.  Like those singled out by St. Paul in the New Testament.  

The crows (again the majority, which are the wordlings, and truth be told also the worldly religious Pharisees masked as good Christians) want you fit, well dressed, and good looking.  Primarily because it feeds their ego, and your presence in their lives serves to elevate their own social status.  They want you to have hard core street smarts, a lot of money, or to see you at a level of ambition aimed at a lot of money.

They walk the common, wide road to turmoil, frequent conflict, existential uncertainty, discouragement, and despair. They will become addicted to alcohol, work, abusing others, and excessive self-care. Externally their lives may be abundant, but internally they reduce themselves to shallow shells of inner turmoil.

But we do not, and cannot walk down that popular path.  We take the narrow road, the path lest travelled, one that is harder, more rocky, more vertical, and challenging, but one that leads upward to beautiful mountain meadows, metaphysical reality itself, being tuned into nature and human nature, and tranquility. To true friendship with God and with true friends, that is those truly loyal to lasting friendship. 

We have to rise above the crows of this world, like an eagle does.  Look the temptation in the eye to fly at the altitude of the crows, to keep fighting those in your way, to fit in with them.

And then tell that temptation to get lost and turn your back on it, and ascend to a higher level.  Ascend to that level where plain, good, authentic, virtuous people dwell, the saints, the angels, and the Holy Ghost.  This is also the place of our pets who are innocent and pure, created to showcase God’s glory, and for our good use.  

Dogs are not impressed by bling, sixty inch flatscreen TVs, a thirty-two inch waist, six figure salaries, or how many friends you have.  They are impressed by humans who are safe, loving, and giving.  They take refuge in people like that, not the crows of this world. 

And again, the crows are those indoctrinated into our narcissistic culture, or who have yet to shed that culture, who would look down on people who are simple-minded, overweight, struggling, poor, nerdy, or shy as odious losers to be avoided like lepers. They are clouded by a dark mind and limit themselves to lower things. Their view of reality is inverted and cloudy. 

Rise above.  Rise above this low class, immoral, self-centered dominant group that has set God and His moral law in the margins, instead of at the center.

It is time to put the crows behind us and below us.  Ascend above and beyond them through the wisdom and grace of God, building upon the nature He gave us, including those divine gifts ingrained into each unique person. 

Rise above the crows.  No longer let them haunt your dreams or subconscious neurotic thoughts in the background, that are like little monkeys on your shoulders filling your ears throughout the day with annoying, toxic chatter.  Chatter that is tempting you to dwell on the evils of the world, of the world of crows.

And again, who are the crows?  Crows are walking, living contradictions, often seemingly correct at mere surface level, since health and a modest degree of prosperity are godly things to aspire to, but focusing on worldly goods, especially social status and popularity in whatever community they belong.   

Even in church circles, which is an unfortunate oddity.  They represent the evil heresy unfortunately alive in Catholic and Protestant circles called “prosperity theology.” that is the false ideology or theology that one’s faith and character, one’s overall value, is measured by how wealthy and healthy you are, as if the poor with serious health conditions are therefore to be deemed on the outer edge of the Church community and God’s esteem.

Whether it is the idiocy of this, or the present pervasiveness of this, it is baffling.

These were the popular kids in high school who stuffed nerds into lockers, or looked up to those kids, or aligned on some level with them, and equated virginity or sobriety or plain dress with psychological weakness and poor social fitness, and still to this day play that high school cafeteria game of superiority.  

They also fill the ranks of those who rise to the level of management, business ownership, and gaited communities, who rise to that level not as much by merit and honesty as by favoritism and dishonesty, of resorting to inhumane treatment of others when necessary to get ahead.

They will be the same ones to hire and promote more based on a cool surface appearance than on competence, hard work, business ethics, or professional integrity.  They do not value professionalism because they do not value treating others by the golden rule.  

The crow is also someone who ends up looking up to and enabling these people. Most crows are this kind of crow. 

Rise above the dark, perpetual complexities and conflicts of this dominate group, however universal and popular, and ascend to the level of divine simplicity, peace, and true love (which is charity and self-sacrifice).  The love that is felt at the very core of your being, and does not go away, whether the romantic love of marriage, true, lasting friendship, or charity,

Dwell instead in bright, heavenly realms of beauty, freedom, creativity, joy, inspiration, and transformation. Of reality.  Heal from all the traumas inflicted by crows. Forgive them, and leave that trauma behind and below you, as you ascend beyond the pests.

Rise above it all, above all the nonsense. God did not create us to be like crows, but like eagles.  To soar, to fully express our nature and talents, to the best of our ability, to dwell with the elect, to be the elect, that is  those who instead chose the way of grace and truth.  The way of eternal salvation.

Ultimately, the crows seeing you ascend may even want themselves to transform into an eagle so they can also soar to heavenly heights. God wants everyone to rise above and soar like an eagle. 

As St. Paul said, “Onwards and upwards.”  Upwards.  One day at a time.  Rise above. And see yourself transform. In Our Lord Jesus Christ. 

And that is my own present and ongoing journey. 

My Dog Thinks the Word “Pray” Means “Play”

My dog Lizzy always starts to play when we sit down to pray the evening rosary. She always brings her little orange ball over to me to play fetch.  We did not realize it until just recently that when one of us calls out “It’s time to pray,” she must think we’re saying “It’s time to play.”  I’d like to think the Good Lord Himself looks down on this with humor.  

The Power of Neural Habituation and Neural Plasticity in Dealing with Adversity

One of the hard facts of life is that throughout our lives we run into circumstances that seem intolerable, unacceptable, and beyond coping. The circumstance seems overwhelming and dooming.  It tempts one to despair, and sins to deal with despair. 

A child gets covered in poison ivy and wonders how long their body will be full of itchiness.  During a high altitude backpacking trip, your tent caves in from ice cold rain leaving you drenched shivering, sitting below a tree counting the hours until daylight. You find your work shift absolutely intolerable, expecting a transfer to another shift next month when your manager tells you it won't happen for another six months...possibly longer.

A person is born without arms.  A devout Catholic wife has to put up with her faithless, godless husband full of vice (or vice versa). A person is born into the lowest Hindu caste system in India, raised in the darkest section of the slums. A young woman suddenly develops severe, crippling rheumatoid arthritis. 

A new high school graduate, a devout conservative Catholic, goes to a gigantic liberal university that is essentially a mosh pit of rebellion, lost in a foreign world, those like him being rare, facing four daunting years there.  A young pretty woman suffers permanent scars across her face after being burned in a fire. 

At age 60, you have to cash in your entire 401K for an emergency, reduced to working until you die.  An elderly person living independently winds up in the hospital, and then suddenly is placed in the nursing home, and one that smells of urine with screaming up and down every hall, like an insane asylum.

At a glance these situations at first seem insurmountable, like looking up at Mount Everest from base camp.  

Yet, one thing God has given us in our nature to cope and overcome extreme adversity, is how the brain can adapt and literally, continuously program and re-program itself.  Habituation is one process.  For example, annoying sensations like pain or itchiness can become so habitual that the mind knows how to tune it out, to a level of zero or something in the background that no longer oppresses us.

This happens especially well when we use will power day after day  to force our minds to think optimistic thoughts and subdue pessimistic thoughts, but habituation in the brain happens even if we do not consciously choose for it to happen.  Given enough moments in a day in which we perform and use our minds in all sorts of ways, eventually the neural pathways get rearranged where they need to be, and then you either feel no pain or far less pain. You adjust.  You “get used to it.”

It is neural plasticity that is so powerful, that is the fantastic, unimaginably ingenious set of neural mechanisms that create constant shaping of neural pathways, and literally new sections of nerves organized to cope with a particular situation.

This happens after every brain injury, whether it is from a stroke, traumatic brain injury, or concussion. It happens after every traumatic event that results in shock, anxiety, or depression.  And it happens every time we learn something new or go through some kind of personal growth, which happens even when we are old.  

I think there is an implicit philosophical error some devout Catholics fall into, and that is a simplistic, dualistic view of human nature.  The person is viewed as a body and a soul, but “the body” itself is not distinguished between the brain and the rest of the body.  That is, it is like our spiritual soul alone is what controls the body, instead of also the vast network of neural pathways and structures in the brain. God has created us such that the soul and the brain are harmoniously one. Just as we must take care of the body, so we have to take care of our brains.  So as long as we are alive in our bodies, our lives or behaviors result in part from what is happening in the brain.  This is why mental illness is real, working on mental health so important, and why cultivating our cognitive state is integral to dealing with life and the sufferings of life, that is adversity.  Prayer is supreme in doing this, but psychological meditation and mindfulness practices arw also important to re-frame our minds to avoid evil and seek the good, and to tune into reality.

This takes time, reading, reflection, and daily practice alongside prayer.  Meditative walks, reading, journaling, clearing the mind sitting listening to classical music, grounding yourself in your physical environment (ex: walking in the grass barefoot), all these kind of things will help a person habituate to and accept their adversity or cross no matter what kind it is.  The brain absolutely will then re-shape areas of the frontal and temporal lobes that process thought, memory, emotion, choice, orientation to space and time, etc.

In conclusion, I think it is good to be aware of our brains, the need to work on mental health (in addition to spiritual health), and continuously re-frame how we think about whatever adversity we have not fully come to peace about.  That might be chronic pain in a knee that still depresses you mentally, obsessions with some past injury done to you by a harmful person in your life, or any adversity big or small that still dominates you, rather than you dominating it.

If you are still trying to figure out how to cope with a heavy burden in your life, and I think most of us are still trying to do that about some kind of adversity, you can be assured, in addition to God’s grace we receive through the sacraments and prayer, God has given us in our natures, in our brain, the capacity to be resilient and conquer any oppressive situation.  It just takes time and daily effort and steps, and before long you will habituate and permanently change for the better. 

Thoughts on RFK Jr.

When I first heard about him fighting the clot shot I cautiously appreciated him despite being a Democrat who believes in some legalization of abortion.  When he was running for President as an Independent, I was concerned he’d pull away too many Trumpers and jeopardize the election.  But I was glad he joined Trump and the MAGA movement.

There is the question of how his mind works about problems in health care.  He once suffered from severe temporary dementia years ago thinking a worm had entered his brain and caused brain damage.  I support his antipathy to the health care system and food industry and zeal for reform in those areas.  I think any zaniness in his thinking on science will be checked by scientific experts on his team.  

There is the problem of his distant past of philandering, which today indirectly he admits as a problem in his past when he admits to a wild youth leading to wildness in his young adulthood.  The man was for a while a drug addict.  But now this man has since lived a very clean and healthy life.  He has the frame of a young professional athlete and is a good role model in his new role to Make America Healthy Again.  He has a big task ahead of him, and I trust he will do a lot.  It will be exciting to see. 

And then there is the question of his status as a Catholic.  It is true he is too steeped in social justice Catholicism, but part of that is simply being a traditional Democrat. He has been married three times, divorced, but I think is living a single life.  He attends Mass daily which says a lot.  Yet it is a problem since he has publicly supported legalized abortion.  I think this is his main flaw as politician.  Yet truth be told he has publicly affirmed he supports and will support Trump’s pro-life policies as I trust he will. 

So this leaves us with a man who is flawed like Trump now in a position to make major changes, to take on Big Health, Big Pharma, and the Food industry.  He is a very likeable guy.  A truth teller, authentic, outside of the mainstream controlled by the elites, a voice of the people.

Hopefully we can get him to oppose legalized abortion and drop any other socially liberal beliefs he might have.  At any rate, I am behind him 100%.

The Power of Accepting Your Cross

Crosses, or sufferings and hardship of all kinds, are a fact of life.  God allows it to redeem us.  Each person suffers for their own sins and that of others.  Certain crosses may be mainly to help “make up for what is lacking in the Body of Christ,” as Scripture says, that is to save souls and bring about the good through God’s grace granted because of faithful people accepting and offering up their crosses for others.   

The hard fact is when you are given any cross, you have the choice to not fully accept it and not offer it up, stuck in a state  of being disgruntled, or you can fully accept and offer it up.  And the hard fact is if you do not you will suffer perpetual torments, whereas if you do that torment will be eventually extinguished and replaced by a state of peace and hope.  

A soldier gets his leg blown off during battle.  If he mentally fights the fact of what happened he falls into a state of depression or even despair.  If he gives up that fight against it, the faster he does, the faster he is okay.  He’ll have to do PT and learn how to walk with a prosthetic leg, and re-frame how he thinks about and approaches his daily life in light of the reality he now only has one leg. 

Prayer is the main means to do this.  We cannot do it on our own, our fallen natures being too weak to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps without help.  And since the greatest help we can receive is from God, and since our access to God is first and foremost through prayer, then when hit with a new cross that seems impossible to carry, the solution is to turn hard core to prayer.  Not simply external prayer, but intense conversation with God and continuously, repeatedly throwing yourself on God for his mercy with repeated acts of faith, trust, and hope.  Every morning when you get out of bed.  Every morning when you sit down in your living room to pray.  That is where you get transformed from a state of bewilderment and reluctance to suffer, to a state of humility, meekness, willingness to bear the cross, and sustained tranquility.  

You really only have one choice if you don’t want to lose your mind and sink into despair.  Total acceptance is the portal out of the horror and shock of every major new cross.  There is no other way.  We have to face that absolute, inescapable fact.   

One day you wake up with floaters in your eyes and later the eye doctor says to expect they will never go away.  While a very small percentage of people get these, many still do, and many who do adjust and live happy and productive lives despite that cross.  Just imaging floaters floating around your visual field.  

One man might sink into chronic shock and anger, holing himself up into a dark room closing his eyes, drinking himself into despair.  Or he, like others, can grab that bull by the horns and ride it, to reclaim and continue his life.  Perhaps the cross could even transform his life.  Through spiritual counsel, psychological counseling, advise from his eye doctor, and say an online community of people coping with floaters, he regains hope, learns how to re-frame it in his mind to essentially accept the floaters as benign and ignore them.  Perhaps they force him into a very structured daily schedule of prayer and meditation, journaling, and self-growth, just to cope, but in doing so he becomes a renewed or new man, later to ironically thank God for his cross of getting floaters.

The list of crosses is innumerable since there are so many individual, unique situations in people’s lives.  Being born with a serious disability, someone close to you dying, losing your job, becoming destitute, finding yourself very alone in life, your doctor telling you you have a fatal illness that will be excruciating.  Just imagine you know how hard the cross is for someone dying from ALS, which causes total paralysis including gradual loss of the ability to breath, and one day your doctor tells you that you have ALS.

You do have a choice in that situation. It is an illusion that you only have the choice to panic and emotionally go against it, that you can only react that way, that the situation is outside of your control.  You have a choice to not panic, to not  emotionally go against it, but rather to deep breath, pray, meditate to remain calm, such as simply taking a walk to clear your mind, and making acts of total acceptance. Total acceptance. Literally saying the words to God over and over  “Ok God I accept this.”

Neurological adaptations then happen in the psychological part of the brain, and can happen relatively fast.  Negative neural pathways associated with obsessive, panicky thoughts and emotion become subdued or even turned off.  New neural pathways are created associated with this state of total acceptance in which the very concept of the cross you are dealing with (ex: an ALS diagnosis) becomes subdued and put in its proper place.  The conscious mind is no longer focused on sensory inputs or images of the cross, such as symptoms associated with ALS or visually obsessing looking at your body all day imaging your eventual paralysis.  Those concepts fade away to the background, your mind putting them on the back burner.  Total acceptance has the power to do that. 

There really is no other way to deal with a major cross, as nature itself compels us to remain calm and adjust our outlook continuously to cope.  

And after all, as horrible as ALS sounds, and is experienced by some ALS patients, that will not necessarily happen to each one, considering that the word “horrible” means “able to evoke horror.”  And as radical as this sounds, the newly diagnosed person with ALS is able to control their mind and emotions to avoid ever entering into a state of complete horror. They would likely have at least a fleeting taste of it, but with free will and pre-established good habits of the mind, it can be only fleeting. This is not to say that those who do fall into horror are always morally responsible if they do, or that everyone can avoid this, but rather because we are made in the image and likeness of God, with intellect and free will, which are literally divine-like powers, and because of God’s grace, we certainly do have the capacity to never fall into that horror. 

I do not have to research this to know that I am certain that on this planet there are people living with ALS, despite all the pain and discomfort, actually never through it all ever falling into a state of horror, panic, or despair, but are able to maintain calm and inner peace until their time comes.  This is not to say there must be ALS patients completely devoid of mental or emotional suffering dealing with their illness, as certain negative human emotions are natural and God given, such as a moderated amount of grief and sorrow.  

But I am saying it is certainly possible to avoid ever falling into a dark place with any cross no matter how big.  For me, I can say I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, responding with shock and anxiety to certain crosses, to be stuck in a state of worry and frustration.  Knowing myself, for the most part, I can say that fortunately it seems I wasn’t sinning, or at least gravely, not entirely in control of my will to choose to frame the situation in the most hopeful light.  This was because I was not strict about a daily schedule of prayer as I blogged about the other day, which if it had been in place, surely I would have been more resilient and not delay as long as I have total acceptance of my crosses and surrender to God’s will.

We should all strive to cultivate in ourselves that pious devotion that builds in us a level of fortitude that will withstand any wind no matter how strong or violent, but nonetheless throw ourselves immediately onto God, literally to put our soul into His with total surrender and reliance on Him, especially the more overwhelmed we get.

God knows how to orchestrate the rehabilitation of the mind in crisis.  A woman suddenly paralyzed after a car accident, which happens every day, must reorganize her mind to be as much in a stable state as it was before the accident.  And no matter how much fortitude she lacks, or weak her faith, it only takes a small amount of faith genuinely given, what the Scriptures call “faith the size of a mustard seed” to achieve the goal, which is peace of mind. 

This is the power of total acceptance of our cross, through continuous prayer. I talk about this actually as a meditation to help me totally accept my current crosses, and also to help those readers who right now may be struggling not only with a major cross, but with reaching total acceptance.

The human mind is by design resilient, able to continuously re-frame itself to every new challenge, and also, as Scripture says, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengtheneth me.”

I do hereby give total acceptance of every one of my crosses and offer them up to God, in reparation of my sins, and for others.  And so I receive the peace of God that sustains me.  

The Final Re-Framing of My Mind About My Psychosomatic Pain Condition

To summarize again, I am recovering from psychosomatic pain disorder, also called somatic symptom disorder, somatic disorder for short.  The symptoms are nerve and muscle pain in both arms and legs, fatigue, heaviness, and weakness.  Several specialists and a neurologist combined ruled out any serious physical condition, two doctors concluding this is the diagnosis.  I cannot be absolutely certain I have this and not something else, or that I will ever fully recover.  

However, based on many tests, several specialists, my own medical history, common sense living with this, as well as a series of clear miracles confirming the diagnosis, my conscience demands I fully accept the diagnosis and expect an eventual full recovery, which clinically is the prognosis in the first place. 

At the same time, nobody absolutely knows the future or the mind of God, so I cannot say it is theoretically impossible I don’t recover.  On the other hand, I can and must consider it as a practical certainty, especially in light of the miracles revealing this is a temporary condition. 

But to accept this full circle is incredibly difficult.   For the most part for many months I’ve been in acceptance, but there have been many challenges for several months which have caused me some days to question everything again and feel anxious if I’ll ever recover.  

In the Fall I was assaulted, and the police doing nothing about it, resulting in all my symptoms returning at the scene, to this day.  And then shortly later the hospital system I was receiving charity care from for counseling, and the counselor themselves, suddenly discharged me without cause or direct explanation, except obviously because my symptoms had returned needing more counseling, which is the main treatment for this, and because they were not making money off of me. 

Another crisis situation unfolded weeks later but I won’t go into details about it here.  

The good news is there was a period of four months of near total recovery, then later for one month, and still now in January there are days my symptoms are subsiding to a very low level indicating I’m coming out of it.

But I have to admit all of this still from time to time racks my brain, the distress and saga of it all.  The pain and other symptoms actually are mostly tolerable.  My main cross is letting go of the fear, by now largely irrational, that this never resolves.  And I’m very aware now that this fear all along started when the symptoms suddenly started with an outburst of pain and weakness.  

Regardless of what name you call it, what the person really is afraid of is it ending life as they know it, resulting in permanent disability and misery.  For me that was the question and fear that ran through my head that Friday morning way back when when I woke up one morning with muscle and nerve pain through all four limbs.  The day before I had seen our stolen car recovered by the police at the impound lot all trashed.  Days before we had bought a new used car I discovered might have a $3000 repair expense.  And there had been several other crises around that time that created a perfect storm.

An important fact is that in 2017 I had the same outbreak of symptoms during a perfect storm, from which I eventually fully recovered.

So now my task is to come to full and total peace about my condition, that is the uncertainty of when I will recover, and the possibility in theory that God never allows me to recover.  It is a mentally strange task since on one hand I am fully accepting the practical certainty of an eventual full recovery; on the other hand, I am having to fully and radically accept that in theory I could not recover.  It is like God telling me I will recover, but that I have to take a leap of faith and trust in Him as the Divine Physician and in His Divine Providence.  

For everything there is a time, including a time to be sick and a time to heal, as Scripture teaches.  God is saying to surrender to the mystery of the timeline.

So what I am working on is re-framing the residual uncertainty of it all that still surfaces once in a while from a situation of anxiety to a situation of ongoing personal transformation.  I can let this get the best of me, or I can conquer it and benefit from the silver lining of it.  That is the choice I have to make, and I choose to grab this bull by the horns and let the good overcome evil, rather than evil overcome the good.  

But since this condition is very much rooted in thought, the longer I let the anxious worries persist the longer I delay recovery, whereas the faster I come to full terms with this the faster is my recovery.  And I see now after all of this time, this is the central task remaining.  

To surrender to God in trust and give uncertainty totally to Him, while, in my case, cultivating a child-like trust I will in good time fully recover.  I have been trying to do that all along but I feel it in my bones now, in addition to the rehab protocol I am following, this is the area that most needs to be accomplished.  

God gives many people, most people at different points in their life, an extraordinary, existential dose of suffering, that challenges them to the very core of their being. And what I have learned more and more in my own case is how much we must see the positive in suffering, to learn and grow from it.  On a practical level there is only one choice to fully accept and offer up the cross, because doing so gives peace of mind, and not doing so gives a state of perpetual torment.  But on a spiritual level doing this is transformative, redemptive, and elevating to a higher state.  

There is the case of astronaut Chris Hadfield who in 2013 had to re-frame his thinking about an annoying sound on the space station, so it wouldn’t drive him crazy.  One day he started hearing an annoying, moderately loud humming/buzzing sound from the ship.  After much effort, he could not identify the source or cause of the sound.  Some of the crew heard it but for them it was a minimal background sound they barely thought about.  Other members didn’t even hear it.  But he did constantly, and it was moderately loud.  Later he theorized he heard it more than others since he was the crew chief whose five senses, including hearing, were more alert and tuned into potential problems with the ship.  But this annoyance left him not only distracted but anxious.  And this is where his training set in, and he used deep breathing and psychological meditation to cope. 

Finally he figured out what to do, and that was to completely overhaul and re-frame how he thought about the sound, to minimize the negative and maximize the positive.  So he compared the sound to the idle of a diesel truck parked with the engine running, a familiar sound he found soothing.  So as he kept associating the two similar sounds, he was able to stop thinking of the sound as annoying and instead think of it as soothing.  By the end of his time on board, it had become a pleasant part of the ambient sound around him.

So that has been my task.  Instead of focusing on the theoretical uncertainties about my recovery, associate the symptoms themselves as communicating what God through various means has already communicated to me, and that is that I will recover and one day thrive, and above all else, that is through trust in Him.  

Hence the prayer, “Jesus I trust in thee.”

My Dream of World Travel

I’m up late here, can’t sleep. Thought I’d write to relax my mind sitting on the edge of my bed.  

So I love travel because I love nature, culture, and adventure.  Travel explores nature and culture as an adventure.  I haven’t travelled much in my life but the desire in me to travel is strong. Think the character Truman in the Truman Show film.

For me this would be when I retire, if God wiling I am ever able to retire, heck if most any of us will be able to retire considering the economy. But there is this chance I could semi-retire early when my mom passes away one day, us living off interest off of my inheritance, plus teaching part-time online as a digital nomad.  In theory it could happen, if I can work online and/or live off interest of wisely invested inheritance And so here is my dream. 

Buy a truck and RV camper. By then have a part-time side business website teaching physical therapy continuing education courses through a website I own.  And then go on the road traveling, spending say a few hours each morning on the website business from my RV, and the rest of the day exploring.  

Instead of just going from place to place, instead we would have the experience of living one month in an area to immerse in it.  This would mean selecting those parts of the world most important to us, that have the best value, that also collectively represent in our mind the world. 

Month 1 would be in northeast New Mexico enjoying the Sanger de Cristo mountains, Sante Fe National Forest, Sante Fe, and Taos, focusing on hiking, trout fly fishing, and making an attempt on the highest mountain in New Mexico Truchas Peak accessible without technical skills or equipment. 

Month 2 would be California.  A week in LA, especially the beach, a week in wine country, then two weeks in the red wood forest.

Month 3 would be in Alaska, after a more or less straight through drive there.  Focus would be on hiking, salmon fishing, and time at K2.

Month 4 would be the lower Rocky Mountains.  A week in Glacier Park in Montana, then a week between Yellowstone and nearby Grand Tetons, and then two weeks in the Colorado Rockies. Again, mainly hiking and fishing.  

Month 5 would be in New York City, after more or less driving straight there with a few stop offs on the way.  Park the RV in a RV park outside of the city, and detach the truck to go into the city to explore. 

Month 6 is in Florida focusing on beach life and sunny weather.  

That would be our first of four sections of our two year world travel trip, for North America.

Next off to Latin America. 

First month Mexico.  Second month Costa Rica. Third month Ecuador. Fourth month Argentina.  Focus is on nature, and any remnants of Catholic, Spanish culture.  Then two more months gradually making our way back to the US back to New York City.  Pay to have the truck and RV shipped to England.  That would conclude our first six months. 

Next six months is in Europe. 

Fly to Ireland for a week, then to England for three weeks, focusing on countryside. Pick up the truck and RV and take the Chunnel to France. 

One month in France, focusing on the countryside, and an extended period visiting the traditional Franciscan convent my wife once spent a year at as a postulant.  

Month three is Spain/Portugal.  Month four is Italy. Month five is Germany, especially visiting relatives and Bavaria, where my mother was raised.  Month six will be first two weeks in Italy, one week in Greece, and one week somewhere in Eastern Europe perhaps in Hungary which is relatively very Catholic. 

That concludes six months in Europe.  The last six months will be combined Africa, Middle East, India, China, Japan, and Southeast Asia. 

First month the Holy Land.  Second month Morocco and certain parts of Northern Africa best known for African wildlife. Then back to Israel and sell the truck and RV.

Fly to India for one month, concentrating on northern India for two weeks and Tibet. Then the two week guided hiking trip from Kathmandu to the Mount Everest base camp.  Then one month touring China focusing on nature and village life.

Fifth month of the last six month section of this two year odyssey would be in Japan, and the sixth month in Southeast Asia based out of Bangkok.

And if all of this in theory could happen, wrap it all up by finally moving to the Philippines.  I would buy land in the hills overlooking the ocean, with an ocean view from the property. 

Post to Pope Francis Results in a Decrease in Blog Stats

Well, I thought it was a good blog post. I really put my mind into writing it.  Days before my daily views were over 100, but since this post its hovering around 20.  Possibly other factors are at play, but that points to disinterest in the post.

Perhaps people would disagree with writing in a cordial way to the pope described by some as the worst pope in history, or the optimism behind asking this pope to restore the Church.  For me it is less a hope anything real will be done by this pontificate, as a public profession, and an outlet for my thoughts and viewpoint.  Ultimately for the Crisis in the Church to come to an end, it is ultimately the pope who must lead the restoration.  Pope Francis may not have long to live, but then again for all we know God may intend for him to live to be 100.  It is possible.  And while if he lives that long the orientation of “FrancisChurch” points to more spiraling downward into the abyss, rather than an upward ascent out of it, if he lived that long the all powerful God can work on his heart and through miracles produce a conversion. 

At any rate, the first reason I wrote that post, and this one, was actually practical and clinical.  I do have good news to report on my recovery.  I seem to be coming out of all my symptoms the last couple weeks, especially the last few days, some parts of some days there being almost no symptoms or pains, and a soothing feeling of normalcy in my body.  In addition to novenas lately, I think this is attributed most to a combination of heat/cold therapy (going back and forth from a sauna to an ice cold shower) and now getting massages.   I discovered cheap but effective professional massages at Clary Sage college in Tulsa, and also the massage chairs and hydro massage beds at Planet Fitness, so I am very optimistic for a full recovery soon enough, and for the psychosomatic state to keep lifting even more in the days ahead. 

Yet my present challenge has been itchiness which combined with what pains I still have has made it challenging some nights to lay back in bed to sleep feeling relaxed, hence me sitting at the edge of the bed writing these recent posts.  It is very relaxing and a good distraction.

Ok, back to Pope Francis, and then I’m going to lay back in bed and pray for a good night of sleep.  And possibly watch some Mark Wiens’ travel food channel to help me drift to sleep. 

There has been times in Church history your average Catholic knew practically nothing about the pope, not even his name.  They knew they were under him in Rome across the ocean and that was enough.  On a practical daily level I think that is the best state now to be in about the pope, to not concern ourselves with all the current events surrounding the pope.  This maintains peace of mind and soul and focus on our state in life.  At the same time, we should have some awareness what this pope and his regime is doing to pray for him, express our concerns, and organize opposition to any errors.  But that does not require much of our time and effort.  Embrace Tradition and reject modernism, and pray the pope and hierarchy will one day restore the Church.

Ok, time for bed.  

Open Blog Post to Pope Francis. Please Restore the Church

Dear Pope Francis,

I wish you God’s grace and good health.  And, I pray you re-discover for yourself, as I did in my twenties, as millions have since Vatican II, especially young people and young families, the Church’s Sacred Tradition, in how the Church has always clearly taught and defended the Deposit of the Faith given to us by our Lord, in Her Sacred Liturgy, and in a strong, trustworthy governance of the Church by the hierarchy. After all, there are more and more priests and bishops themselves reconnecting with Catholic Tradition.  I wish and hope for this for every single Catholic including yourself, even as the pope, no matter how progressive or modern they are.

Writing a blog gives me the position to say this, what most like-minded priests and laity would never publicly say for fear of being somehow persecuted.  This is one critical reason there are now Catholic blogs, to be a voice of the people otherwise restrained from speaking in any public way beyond whispers in the church parking lot.

There are those who question if you were validly elected.  Objectively it is possible you were not, but I have no authority to say that, as only a future pope or ecumenical council approved of by the pope could determine that.  So I recognize you as the pope, even though it is very difficult to understand how a pope can say and do some of the things you have said and done. As the Vicar of Christ, standing over the hierarchical Church, I look up to you in your holy Office, as Christ’s chief visible representative on Earth, giving you that solemn reverence that is due to you in your Office.  And I beg you, for the love of God, and all that is holy, please use your office to restore the Church, since it must come one day first and foremost from the pope.  The recent reforms we have seen the last sixty years have been met with the destruction of so much that must be restored.

I beg you to see the facts that the conciliar reform and liturgical reform practically resulted in much of the Church being turned on its head into a state of chaos and instability everywhere, not entirely but to a great degree, at least in the Latin Church, that so many holy things that can be destroyed have been unnecessarily destroyed.  We see this first and foremost in the liturgy.

The shepherds have been struck, and the sheep scattered.  Too many are now confused what to believe, and what to do as Catholics, and have to a great extent justifiably lost their trust in those men currently governing the Church, in the human element of the Church.  Catholics who love Christ, the Faith, and the Church find it very difficult to know where to turn, to what bishops and priests we can trust and put our lives, our very souls, in their hands.  Yet those in authority today are generally across the Church violating their sacred offices, by either espousing or actively tolerating heresy, which confuses the mind and divides the Church.  On a material level at least, the hierarchy, as a whole, has fallen into modernism and liberalism, modernism itself being worse than Arianism.  Too many bishops and priests permit heterodoxy or wrong ideas that go against our Faith, de-sacralized and sacrilegious liturgies, and an atmosphere devoid of beauty and authenticity. We are still recovering from that artificial ideological revolution began in the 1960’s by modernists and progressivists who somehow became mainstream in positions of power and influence.  I trust you do not dispute that all of this is the historical reality, whatever you think of that historical reality.

Holy Father, Vicar of Christ, Supreme Pontiff, I beg you to go beyond your distrust and disdain shown towards traditionalists and conservatives, and Catholic bloggers, those objectively most faithful to Catholic orthodoxy and the Mass, despite some showing phariseeism or unrighteousness anger.  Please look at the majority of us not in that category, sincerely wishing to maintain our Church’s Sacred Tradition, in the ancient Latin liturgy which is our birthright after baptism in the Latin Church, and please unyieldingly advocate for the Church to rid itself once and for all of the modern errors afflicting it. This task is on your shoulders first and foremost.

For everything there is a time, and since you are still alive, you are still given that time to do this true restoration, to at least start it, which is your duty, to begin this officially from the top down, to officially acknowledge the current Crisis and the necessity of maintaining and restoring our Catholic Tradition.  That will need very clearly interpreting once and for all the Council in light of Tradition, to reconcile the problems. Others may say it is practically impossible that you would do this, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible if the laity urge you, which is our responsibility to try and do.  As much as that would be a complete one-hundred-and-eighty degree shift for you, you can, and you must do this.  The Church critically needs you to do this. Both you and your successors.  For the love of God, and all that is holy, please take this to heart and be moved to restore the Church, which must be restored from the top down, first and foremost from the pope downward to the bishops, since the Office of Pope is supreme over and superior to the entire College of Bishops, not a first among equals which is an Orthodox heresy. 

You have the keys, you are the Successor to St. Peter, the Vicar of Christ, for better or worse, despite how troubled we are by you and your policies, your attitude to us, and about certain parts of certain documents, please, for the love of God, and all that is holy, restore the Church.  Bring it back to clarity, stability, strength in leadership, trustworthiness, and authenticity.  Just imagine the results of this restoration, which would be mass conversions around the world and a deepening of the Faith in the lives of Catholics.  Look no further for example of this than those parishes and chapels where the Ancient Mass is celebrated, where the majority are Catholics deeply committed to the Faith, to preserving Catholic Tradition, for the purpose of holiness, many who have a deep, mature knowledge of the Faith. Please look at pilgrimages like the annual Chartres pilgrimage promoting the Traditional Latin Mass, and the global growth of priestly societies like the Fraternity of St. Peter and the Society of St. Pius X, whose members do pray intensely for you daily.  

I think it is possible this blog post might get read by someone in the Vatican, and it is not impossible you might read this or indirectly receive its message, or at least that it contributes to the collective voice of concerned Catholics eventually heard by you in some form or another. Miracles do happen, as I can testify to in my own life recently.  Despite the objections we have related to your pontificate, we honor you as the Vicar of Christ, the highest visible head of the Church, and in devotion to that Office, we beg you to hear our concerns, our confession of the Faith, and public witness to that which we are seeing unfortunately happen to Christ’s Church.  

Sincerely,

Joseph Ostermeir 

The Okie Traditionalist blogger 

Per GTV Bishop Williamson is Still Alive

Bishop Williamson is still alive, per GTV, despite reports of his death by Fr. Paul Kramer.  However, his situation is very critical.  Please pray for him.

Please Pray for Bishop Williamson

He is one of the bishops consecrated by Archbishop Lefebvre in 1988.  While I don’t agree with all of his “resistance” views, this man, this bishop has done much good for the Church, especially with his intelligence and insights. Tonight the word is he is in the hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage, having received Last Rites.  Please keep Bishop Williamson in your prayers that he recovers, and if not that he has a holy and happy death. 

Is it Moral to Climb Mt. Everest?

When I was a kid I loved to climb up anything. I dreamed of becoming a rock climber and climbing Mt. Everest.  But the farthest I went was to go repelling a couple times, and bouldering.  There was one very unwise choice I once made to climb up a twenty foot cliff without rope when bouldering.  

About fifteen feet up I was stuck to find a way to the top, but couldn’t climb down in reverse.  It would gave meant a fifteen foot tall fall which could have been devastating. Fortunately, I found my way to the top. 

To keep myself busy and motivated lately I watch YouTube channels of things I want to do one day, which helps keep my mind in a good place as I recover.  And so I’ve been watching videos of people going to Everest.  One YouTuber interviewed a Sherpa who got teary eyed when he said he had lost many friends who died on Everest.  

This made me question if it is morally justified in the first place. I’ve never heard the Church condemn it so I always thought it is okay to do.  You have to be fit, able, and well prepared. 

But this doesn’t cover all those people who have died on Everest because of the unpredictable, especially the weather.  Even if the weather forecast looks perfect, Mother Nature can change her mind.  I’m not starting to judge those who attempt it, but I hesitate and wonder about it.  There are risks we are allowed  to take.  But how far can we go? 

My gut tells me free climbing up El Capitan equates to being suicidal and is absolutely wreckless.  But in the case of Everest, you can prepare well with every contingency. The vast majority of those who summit of course make it back down. 

It Has Taken 50 Years to Understand the Necessity of a Strict Daily Prayer Schedule

It has taken fifty years to understand the necessity of a strict daily prayer schedule, I confess.  I talk about this as much for my own advancement in the spiritual life, as to impress upon you this truth for your own growth. 

I understand now in a very visceral, deep way how a strict daily schedule of prayer is necessary, which includes weekly Mass, monthly confession, and the Eucharist, since those three include prayer on those days you participate in the sacraments.  Prayer helps prevent anxiety and bad stress. It helps keep you focused on making the best choices.  It keeps you motivated to do God’s Will according to your vocation and state of life. And when things get rough, a strict schedule of prayer gets you through it even better than any psychological meditative practice, exercise session, or counsel you might receive from someone.  In addition to all of those things, no matter how hard your situation is, actually the harder your situation is, the more consistent you have to be with prayer, and the better prayer will pull you through it, and out of it.

Growing up I said morning and evening prayers including the rosary, but not as strict and structured as it could have been.  In my adulthood, gradually over the years, I confess, despite perceiving myself as a devoted Catholic, my daily prayer schedule became inconsistent, with less structure, still praying often in the morning and evening, and the rosary, but without a formal structure. So my prayer life could fluctuate based on how busy or distracted I was.  In hindsight, I didn’t deal with life’s stresses and crosses as well as I should have. This is not to say I didn’t pray daily, as often my prayer life is a conversation with God, an internal dialogue, often with ejaculatory prayers and certain prayers like before and after meals, when I get in the car, pass a cemetery, see an ambulance with its lights on, etc.  However, I did not have the habit of certain times a day to sit down and pray the rosary every day, and use a prayer book like the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

And the thing is, if you do not have a devotion to a daily schedule of prayer, when you go through any kind of crisis, you will be rocking around your boat in panic weathering the storm, rather than calmly sitting in the boat no matter how bad the storm. Prayer keeps you very calm and not anxious or at least less anxious. There is a story in the New Testament that goes into this, involving s boat, after all.

I have learned this recently in my life the hard way. Before my medical condition I am recovering from, which is psychosomatic pain disorder, I was not following a strict schedule of daily prayer. Had I been, I may have had less anxiety and stress that led to the sudden outbreak in symptoms, and dealt with the situation better after the outbreak. 

When you are in a lot of pain and sickly state it can be difficult to keep a formal schedule of prayer or even to do formal prayer, but all the more reason to do it.  When saying the rosary, you can do it in a contemplative way as a mantra rather than focus on the words, as it may be difficult to focus.  Likewise, if it is hard to read a prayer book, there are YouTube channels you can listen to with your eyes closed of someone reciting former prayer, whether it is the Liturgy of the Hours, i.e. Divine Office, the rosary, the chaplet of Divine Mercy, or the like.  There is one channel I now frequent when it’s hard to focus and read my own book The Imitation of Christ, which is a man reading it with a serene British accent chapter by chapter.  Just set aside time each day to sit on your couch and listen to it in a state of meditation, as priests traditionally recommend the laity to spend 15 minutes a day in mental prayer.  

During my condition, I learned this wisdom the hard way, not trying at all to maintain a formal daily structure of prayer thinking it was too hard.  I thought it was better just to follow the more informal schedule I had followed for years. But I was wrong. This was unwise. Even though it felt like the best thing to do, I still could have designated formal times for prayer and consistently prayed formal prayer the best I could.  I think one stumbling block was a perfectionist mindset, thinking if it was hard to read and consecrate I couldn’t do it.  But even without these YouTube channels which I did not think to discover until later, you can still pray the three mystery rosary daily, the chaplet, and the Angelus at noon and at 6 pm even in an altered mental state if you are ill

I has actually made a bargain with God that I would say so many holy hours one day if He would heal me, but that bargain was for after He healed me.  Meanwhile, my daily prayers were inconsistent.  What God was after was not a rigid schedule as much as to rely upon Him throughout each day, and that doing so would help me cope better, and at help indirectly heal.  Since for many years in hindsight I was not as dedicated to a prayer schedule as I should have been, I was in a certain limited mindset not realizing how important this was, not only for my spiritual life, but for my healing and recovery.

As an aside, I should clarify that I am avoiding scrupulous thoughts about this.  I do not think I was committing any grave sins in this regard, and most of the time probably not venial sins.  When I started having my medical condition, because of what moral theologians call the force of bad habit, it was difficult not only to switch gears and restructure my prayer to have better structure, it would be difficult to understand why that would be critical to do, and for it to occur to me to do.

It was some months ago that God showed this to me.  As I described in a recent post, my symptoms had returned after several months of almost entirely resolving, then obsessing all over again if the diagnosis of psychosomatic disorder was correct, I turned more intensely to prayer.  This included  a certain miracle following that intensified prayer, which I also blogged about, which confirmed it is in fact psychosomatic disorder.  

And then there was the novena to and visiting the incorrupt body of Sr. Whilhelmina that opened my eyes.  My wife and I had interviewed for the blog the Sister who cared for her most in her final years.  I had already been thinking lately about the power of prayer and the need to intensify my prayer life.  So when I asked Sister what advise she thinks Sr. Whilhelmina would tell people going through extreme suffering or hardship, such as people in a lot of chronic pain, she said two things: a) to always go to Mary, our mother for help, and b) to be devoted to daily prayer, that is to a discipline of daily prayer.  She said those two messages were something she most heard from Sister Whilhelmina in her last years of suffering  when she mentioned the second part, not simply to pray, but to be devoted to prayer itself, that is the daily discipline of prayer, that hit home for me in a very personal way.  And then shortly after this pilgrimage, I commuted myself formally to God to once and for all follow a daily program of prayer, including the rosary, fifteen minutes of mental prayer or meditation, and twice a day the Little Office.  

So in a sense, in a round about way, it has taken a half a century to fully learn the necessity of not just daily prayer, but a commitment to a basically strict daily prayer schedule.

And the more I think about it, the more I appreciate this lesson, that prayer really is the answer to everything, not only prayer, but first and foremost prayer, because whatever good works we do, ultimately it is God who converts us and provides for everything we need. 

Memories of January 6th. Justice Must be Done.

I remember reading conversation online predicting protest in D.C. when the 2020 presidential election was to be certified, that it would play out like a political battle. Retired military leadership was calling for Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act and prevent the certification, to force the electors back to their states to investigate more the Coup.  

As a member of Gen-X, this was the most volatile political situation I had ever experienced.  I was taken in by it all, because it was so dramatic. 

Frankly, had I been there that day for the pro-Trump rally, I could have easily followed the crowd to the Capitol building, and if so God knows my fate.  I think that could happen to many pro-Trump patriots reading this blog.  

Show up at a protest and get swept up in it all, and then wrongfully arrested and charged.  I remember weeks before at a televised Trump rally in Tulsa holding up a sigh that said “Stop the Coup.”  Just imagine all those innocent people swept into the riot who ended up wrongfully to this day, four years later, in prison.

I believe one man falsely charged facing imprisonment, or political persecution, took his life.  How many in prison have been pushed to the edge of despair.  

Their story must be told, so this does not happen again in this country. They need restitution, and their perpetrators brought to justice. 

That needs to happen besides the pardons.  The Democrats stole the election four years ago including control of Congress, able to persecute as they did the J6ers.  

But now Trump and the GOP is in charge, and must seek justice for the Coup and counter-persecution. What is worse than stealing the government and then gaslighting The People they stole it from?  

That is diabolical.  Justice must be done.  The GOP must now launch a full on investigation and bring the perpetrators to justice.  

And I remember watching the protest that day, as people surrounded and entered the building. It did not look like a violent riot to overthrow the government, but something silly and benign. I remember feeling no shock, but rather mild surprise and that the whole thing looked stupid.

And keep in mind that the GOP was in fact considering not certifying the election but pushing fir more investigations.  Thanks to Tucker Carlson, who received leaked footage from Congress itself, what pundits pointed to was actually the case, D.C. police actively allowing people into the building and to roam the halls.  

An investigation now would uncover the nitty gritty details who in D.C. planned the staged appearance of an “insurrection,” in order to prevent the GOP from stopping the certification. Keep in mind that nearly half of the states sued presenting evidence of election fraud (which regardless of number of votes, would have disqualified Biden, Trump winning), taking it to the Supreme Court, and certain conservative Justices lacked the fortitude to hear the case.  

Well, now the GOP is in control of Congress, and the White House, so I pray they do not let all of this go, out of principle. History will judge how they handheld it going forward.  

Unless history will repeat itself, I hope the GOP does what is needed, and that President Trump makes sure they do.

Our Day Has Arrived

After the unprecedented, surreal horror of the Coup of 2019, the narcissistic political persecution of J6 patriots, the severe damage to our economy, the rapid exponential rise in inflation, interest rates, and cost of living, the near immediate instigation of proxy war with Russia via Ukraine, and deliberate escalation towards World War III, lying to the American people that the clot shot vaccine would not be mandated, forcing that mandate upon the American people especially the self-sacrificing health care workers certain of whom consequently lost their jobs, resulting in the inspiring Trucker Convoys heroically defending freedom, and the millions upon millions either seriously injured or killed by the clot shot, an attempt at a Great Reset dragging this country down to the likes of Soviet Communism, that made Alexander Solzhenitsyn himself turn over in his grave, God has chosen in His infinite wisdom to show this nation mercy, a reprieve from the hardest of the Great Chastisement that still awaits us, to revitalize and prepare us for what will eventually come for our great sins, barring another divine intervention of mercy, especially for the sins of abortion and sodomy, not to mention generally turning our backs on God.  

He has sent us the truly heroic and prophetic President Donald J. Trump, spared from multiple assassination attempts and more sure to come, just as he once sent the flawed Constantine, despite Trump’s faults, to end the war in Ukraine, in the Middle East, to free the J6 prisoners, achieve justice for them and all those persecuted by the Democrats, to bring inflation, interest rates, and costs drastically back down, to free up once again those certain liberties lost in the last four years,, especially for Christians and the Church, to advance the pro-life movement to end abortion even more than he has already, to end wokism and cultural Marxism in our major institutions, and to help in the restoration of some degree of faith and morals to this nation.  

We have every reason right now to rise above our pessimism staring downward into the abyss these last four years, to let this  day be what it is, a gift from God, a shot in the arm of optimism.  It was because of the faith and patriotism of a minority, especially conservative Christians, getting behind Trump, that God is showing His mercy, and to especially help us conservative Christians right now grow stronger in the face of a popular culture and political elites who hate us, and in what we believe. It is going to be fun and joyful to see Trump get back to work in the White House, and what unfolds in the weeks and months ahead. Our day has arrived. Deo gratias.  

My Thoughts on AI

I’ve used it somewhat recently and it greatly helped me in what I needed it for, but the evils of AI are too enormous to overall promote or actively tolerate this.  There must be an international agreement to stop this from developing or we risk a futuristic, totally secularist dystopic future, not to mention extinction.  

For all the seemingly limitless uses of AI now and in the future, turning the world into a futuristic utopia on the edge of self destruction isn’t worth the benefits.  Given the current state of the world, that is the certain future of AI.  We would need the wisdom of the Amish, that is to be very intentional in our use of technology, but we let technology rule us, to stand over us making us slaves to it as a substitute idol for God, rather than to stand over it as its master. 

But at the same time, no matter how traditionalist my orientation is to modern  technology and AI, its use is unavoidable for most at least in the future, just as it is with a car or smart phone.  I’ve noticed lately calling customer service lines, you’re sometimes forced to interact with an AI, and to be honest that process is admittedly nicer and more efficient, even though replacing segments of the work force with machines will result in moral and cultural disaster. 

I am a traditionalist, but not an absolute Luddite.  The Church after all does not condemn technology since it is morally neutral per se in itself, though certain technologies I would argue are still practically evil by design, regardless of use, their very existence offending God (ex: artificial birth control).  

So there is a very fine line how far the world should develop new technology vs. rely on traditional tools, and to what degree we should indulge in modern technology.  Much depends on one’s state in life, occupation, personality, social setting, etc.  

But we have to take a birds eye, or rather an orbital, global, Google Earth view of this looking down on Earth and the timeline.  Personally, I think the modern infrastructure of the modern age in all its technology as a whole strongly tends towards evil, and practically should be resisted by living a more traditional, simple life with few modern gadgets. 

At the same time, since AI isn’t intrinsically evil, while I think its progress should be haulted and examined to be used responsibly in a very conservative way (such as in medicine, which is hard to not accept as invaluable to treating disease; but definitely NOT to augment human nature), I am finding all kinds of uses for it.  It lacks consciousness, personhood, and actual morality, but in terms of knowledge, analytical abilities, memory, and the like, even just the AI’s you can download on your phone (I am currently using Meta AI) are practically a super intelligence, immeasurably greater than the smartest of humans.  

For example, when researching a subject on the internet, I can do it on my own, or I can have AI do the search, which is beyond imagination better than I can do.  Once upon a time AI was mere fantasy.  And then next thing you know it is here and trending.  

We are not merely being asked to think about this, but to accept the apparent fact a brave new world is on the horizon in which AI rules over everything.  Perhaps then that is when God has had enough and arranges events to wipe out much of humanity with nuclear war.  

Given how much AI is paired up with transhumanism, trying to make man into God by evolving human nature to include AI in the brain, there is no chance in which God and nature itself doesn’t chastise humanity back onto our knees. 

So those are my thoughts about AI.  In the end no supercomputer however smart will be as magnificent as God’s greatest creation, and that is human nature as He already made it, in the image and likeness of God.

God Confirmed My Diagnosis Through a Miracle

I recently got an email from a reader who is an MD (!) urging me to get a work up of tests to rule out any serious physical illness, based on an August, 2023 post here about my sudden outbreak of nerve and muscle pain etc the summer of 2023.

To exhaust those tests UNLESS I already have.   

At this point in my healing journey, it was a pleasure to let him know that YES I have received an exhaustive work up of tests, imaging, and specialists way back, all ruling out any serious physical cause.   That resulted in the final confirmation of psychosomatic illness already made by two doctors and a licensed counselor.  

It generally begins in chronic stress, past unresolved traumatic events, a perfect storm of events in a short period of time, relatively minor health issues, hypochondria, which itself escalates to severe hypochondria, which causes essentially temporary changes in the deep brain in the basal ganglia and amygdala, resulting in what is caused centralization. External stimuli from the body become very amplified, including stimuli that only your unconscious mind is aware of.   This includes pain, fatigue, and weakness, that may be so minimal normally you are not consciously aware of it.  But then suddenly there is an outbreak of amplified symptoms.  

One version is called conversion disorder, which is a sudden neurological deficit.  For example, my neurologist’s brother, himself a doctor, had a bad break up with his girlfriend followed by a sudden paralysis of one leg and urinary incontinence both lasting for some time, until after he himself saw specialists and ruled out a serious physical cause, and coming down from the stress, it eventually resolved.  What I am recovering from, psychosomatic disorder, the more current term being somatic symptom disorder, is similar, in that the mechanism is primarily in the brain from extreme stress.

One common presentation of psychosomatic disorder, also called somatic symptom disorder, is a sudden outbreak of nerve and muscle pain in both arms, as well as weak and heavy limbs, extreme fatigue, brain fog, insomnia, and irritable bowel.  It’s basically your body’s inflammation dialed up to a conscious and severe state of disabling pain and fatigue.  

Fortunately it is reversible.  I had this in 2017 and fully recovered, and this time beginning summer of 2023 I’ve shown many times signs and a couple periods of recovery, so I’m confident I will recover, always having to add “God’s will be done.”

But with this disorder, with the sudden outbreak, naturally you need to first seek testing and specialists to rule out physical causes which I did, but it was a long process.And ultimately what is key to recovery is full acceptance of the diagnosis, that it is a practical certainty there is no serious physical cause, but also resigning yourself to the fact it is not an absolute certainty.  Given the fact it began with extreme stress and hypochondria, being in that state is challenging to emerge from and to mentally accept it is exclusively or mainly psychological in nature, and to “let go,” when all the while your symptoms feel very real with very real effects in the body.

Such was my quest last summer to work through all my remaining doubts and need for more medical information, doing many deep dives on this condition and the conditions already ruled out, to gain closure.  That felt nearly impossible to do, but all things are possible with God, and it was mainly through prayer and miraculous interventions that I reached peace of mind.  

I’ve already blogged about the miraculous effects of praying to and visiting the incorrupt body of the saintly Sr. Whilhelmina in Missouri, and plan to blog more about that and other miracles I experienced around the same time.  But this post is to share the most profound miracle for me in achieving the peace of mind I was seeking.

Last Spring for four months nearly all  my symptoms disappeared for nearly the entire period of four months. However, the condition had stressed my body so much I had very bad sinus allergies that affected my ears including an ear infection that resulted in a perforated ear drum that spiked my very low level tinnitus to a high pitch.  Fortunately after a couple months the perforation healed and tinnitus went back to a low level, but I was very stressed out by the high level of tinnitus with fear the new high level would be permanent.  That stress was followed by a severe tooth abscess that, despite rounds of antibiotics, and two procedures to complete a root canal, resulted in severe swelling and pain that lasted nearly a month.

It seems because of this extreme stress that all the pain etc returned in early May.  The relative peace of mind I had already achieved accepting I was recovering from psychosomatic disorder went out the door, me obsessing again what was causing the relapse of symptoms.  Part of my mind still knew it was psychosomatic condition, but the fact it returned caused me to have to examine it all over again for the better part of the summer.

And so it was in August I intensified my prayers, which led to miraculous events.

One day I just left the gym at Ascension St. John’s and felt inspired to go over to the hospital’s adoration chapel to pour my heart out to God.  When I had the same outbreak in 2017, it was going to this particular gym at the Catholic hospital, and praying at the hospital’s adoration chapel, that helped me then totally recover. Which is why I returned again, except I realized that day I had not yet gone over to the same chapel.  Also, I had already been experiencing what appeared to be divine signs, the first day joining the gym seeing in the locker room the neurologist who told me he did not think I had actual neuropathy or any neurological disease, the second day at the gym seeing my niece who I hadn’t seen in seven years, etc.  The day before I was driving out of the hospital complex from the gym and saw again my neurologist walking down the sidewalk.

So that day I felt something (God) pushing me to go to the chapel and make a commitment to formally accept before God the psychosomatic diagnosis and set aside anymore consideration of something else.  Up until then I had been praying a perpetual novena to all the saints of healing I could think of, including the saintly Sr. Wilhelmina, the rosary, and a deliverance prayer from demonic oppression and obsession.  I went to the chapel, said all three, intensely looking into the tabernacle (this is no longer strictly speaking an adoration chapel since the Blessed Sacrament is no longer exposed, but I still call it that), accepting my diagnosis but asking to be healed, and then got up and walked out.  I imagined as I stepped out of that room, that final step represented my final acceptance.  Moments later I stepped out of the building, walked down a few stairs, and right in front of a statue of St. Francis holding a lamb, something happened that is impossible to call a mere coincidence.  I crossed paths with the doctor who initially one year before told me he thought it was probably a stress response, using the term psychosomatic.  The odds of this being a mere coincidence are almost zero.  Add to that the fact that had I not been praying these three prayers together already, I would have left the chapel earlier or later.  Had I left 15 seconds earlier or later, our paths could not have crossed.  Add to this he was working at the family practice office in a suburb, and I hadn’t known he had transferred to the hospital.  I almost immediately knew this couldn’t be a coincidence. 

Later I was reflecting on this more intensely and drew the connection and obvious meaning of these coinciding events.  A) I had been praying for healing, to be released of the obsessions, and to finally accept the somatic diagnosis, before Christ in the tabernacle, and then B) as I left the building I crossed paths with the doctor I had not seen for a year who initially thought it was probably psychosomatic.  What were coinciding were A and minutes later B.  A was praying for closure, and B was in fact the answer to the prayer, God providing the closure.  The divine meaning communicated was that the doctor was correct in what he thought was the probable cause, and that is psychosomatic disorder, and NOT a serious physical condition.   This was the Divine Physician giving me the ultimate diagnosis, confirming the final diagnosis, through a miraculous intervention, as an act of mercy, to finally set my mind at ease.

And to confirm this, when I connected the dots clearly between A and B, at that very moment nearly all my symptoms (temporarily) faded away, lifted, and disappeared.

I hope if you’ve read this post this strengthens your faith in the all powerful and all wise God.  If you know people dealing with doubt or disbelief, please share this with them.

Vatican Approves Homosexuals to Become Priests

This is up there with the Pachamama worship in the Vatican. There is a reason homosexuals have officially never been allowed in the seminary or to become priests, and that is because you must be free of serious mental illness, in particular of a sexual kind, that orients you objectively to unnatural and perverse acts.  It is no different in that regard to allowing a known pedophile into the seminary.  Even if the person is able to be celibate, they are still oriented to perverse acts. And consider that most cases of priests molesting children, the incidence of which has exploded since Vatican II, involves a homosexual male molesting a male. This is an act of Pope Francis, and ranks up there with his other errors. The popesplainers would label us as dissenters and disobedient for criticizing this decision by the pope, but it does not fall under papal infallibility, and it contradicts the constant tradition of the Church.  This will only confuse Catholics even more what they are to believe. And canon law #  212 allows us to raise our objections and concerns. That is our duty.   Lord have mercy on us. So be it.  God will restore the Church one day. Life goes on.  Better to focus on the brightness of the sun above, than the black abyss below.