Our Dads

Yesterday I talked about how I managed to force my mind to slip into a subconscious, trance-like state while my head was bolted inside a helmet, and my body stuck in an MRI tunnel for 30 minutes.  Good times.

When your fight-or-flight response wants to high jack your psyche, unnecessarily, there is an alternate impulse minds are meant to resort to--the parasympathetic response.   To slow breathing, heart rate, and calm the mind.
 

Being stuck in that MRI, my mind managed to do that, and part of what carried me through a half hour laying in confinement, was imagining in exacting detail my teenage camping and backpacking trips with my dad.

I should preface this post with the admission that in my 20's my relationship with my dad did shift from something benign to a very strained situation.  BUT, by the grace of God, however, we made our peace before he died.  That period is come and gone. May he rest in peace.

So this post is about my father, and our fathers.

Except for the Blessed Virgin Mary, and it seems according to some Doctors of the Church St. Joseph too, all of us are a mixture of virtue and sin.

So it is with our fathers, with my father.   They go off to work and bring home the bacon.  They change the oil and balance the checkbook.  

Like many men out there, my dad had a good side and a dark side.  There's the side that wants to do good by their wife and children.   And there's the side where...well, fill in the blank.

Our backpacking trips were magical.  Something eased my dad's nerves into a state of sustained serenity and well-being.  Even mishaps and misjudgments were met with a very moderate response.  Something about the outdoors.  Something about taking a Time Out from the social grind.  It's a natural mystery, how the outdoors, at least in my experience, is civilizing and balancing.



Perhaps you have experienced the vexing and strained side of your father, or worse.  I'd imagine most have.  But for me these outdoor trips were a taste of heaven.  A time of serenity and joy.

Looking up the side of the small mountain (I say small because the "mountains" we backpacked in Oklahoma and Arkansas were, relative to most, small), I took the backpacks out of the trunk.  Dad had the map spread across the hood of the car.  It was always a pleasure to scan the map and see where the sites along the way were marked by symbols in the map's legend.   It was as much a symbolic journey of accomplishment, to make it through the ups and downs marked by the map, as the actual physical accomplishment.

Before passing the trailhead, we checked our gear and food, but once we stepped onto the trail, we entered a new reality.  The reality of father and son enjoying the pure outdoors.

One of my fondest memories is of our times, at the end of a day of arduous backpacking, when we reached the bottom of a valley along a creek or small river.  Tent set up, water gathered, campfire roaring, dinner cooked, the nearby stream giving gentle, relaxing sounds, father and son would settle in by the fireside for a good long talk.



We told stories.  We talked about life.  We celebrated our day's accomplishment.  We planned the next day's route.

Those were blessed times.  As a nature lover, and a Catholic believer, I imagine heaven being a natural place of mountains and streams.  It was the book of the Apocalypse after all that revealed heaven would be a "new Creation."

And so that is my hope.  My hope is that one day, when we have steadfastly endured the hike of life through this valley of tears, we will join our loved ones in the new Creation.  There I hope to enjoy a campfire again with my dad, and a good, long hike.

CT Scan Today. Wondered if It'd be like my MRI Experience.

I have a fullness in my right and left middle ears, with some recent tinnitus (which I pray is temporary either from allergies or my TMJ issues), and also some painful cheekbones.  My ENT recently thought I'm having sinusitis and ordered a CT scan.  I finally made it in today to get 'er done.  Boy was I relieved it was no big deal.

I was somewhat resolved to doing it going into the radiology department at the hospital down the road, not knowing how confining and prolonged the CT experience would be.  Back in February, I had a first time MRI to rule out some things (which it did), and that was purgatorial.  When I made the MRI appointment they asked if I'd like "conscious sedation" which I'm still unclear as to what it exactly is, but it's for people who are claustrophobic.  I am historically not.  Until this MRI anyway.



The MRI machine they used for me didn't have a round tube.  The ceiling came almost down to my nose.

For the MRI, I walk into a small room and there is a large machine with a tunnel.  I think "no big deal" until after I lie down my head is completely locked into a bolted-down helmet and when I am transported back into the tunnel, there is maybe an INCH between my nose and the ceiling of the tube, and I'm immersed in it from the top of my head down to my elbows.

You might think "yeah I can do that, no problem."  But the sucker took 30, yes 30 minutes with no stops, the whole time my head completely locked in the helmet.  If I should want out, it would take a chunk of time, and ruin the scan.  This is what you're made aware of by the tech who counsels you before he sends you into confinement.

Oh and just for fun, you're hearing clunking, electrifying, weird Star Trek kinds of sounds of all sorts.

The first few minutes I felt okay, but then it starts to sink in you're going to be in that stuck position for a Half Hour!  Deep breathing helps, but when those strange sounds start pounding and clicking, you have to resort to other measures.

So for the next 25 or so minutes, having made a deep down decision I MUST do this MRI and endure it, for my health, my subconscious mind reverted to an ever more subconscious trance-like state.  I would transport myself back in time and relive every camping and backpacking trip I took with my dad as a teenager.  That's how I got through it.

I imagined the car drive, the food and gear prep, stopping at the ranger's station, what I was wearing, the feeling of excitement to explore the outdoors, the various vistas and valleys we hiked through, the campfires, stories, mishaps, and thrills.  I relived several of those trips in that half hour.  It was a mental marathon.

So going in to do a CT scan today of my sinuses, I had no idea if I'd be confined like that to a tunnel or for how long.  Boy what a relief when the tech said it'd take 5 minutes, and it really only took 2-3 minutes. There was no tight tunnel, and most of the time my head was covered just to the neckline, and just for a short time down to my shoulders.

Fun times.  Anybody ever had the fun of an MRI or CT scan?  Share in the comments section below.



The CT scan today looked like this.  So much bigger diameter, and no tunnel.  

Hobbies

Well, I have to admit my life has not exactly been a state of Zhen-like balance.  My daily schedule is not a rhythmic flow of work and leisure.  Mostly it feels like work, then chilling out in front of a screen of some kind.  Mea culpa.

The wife and I were talking about this lately.  In her free time she likes doing arts and crafts, writing letters, and sewing.  Me, blogging, Netflix, and the occasional stroll in the yard.

When you've been around enough to see 7 presidents in office, at my age it's a bit of a challenge to acquire new hobbies, or any new habit for that matter.  Many years ago, it was a regular habit to go hiking, backpacking, camping, and fishing.  Now at most I take out the outdoors gear sporadically throughout the calendar year.

Truth be told, what I really enjoy is:  reading, writing, movies, cooking, gardening, and outdoor recreation.  Did have a Summer and Fall garden last year.  Do sometimes pull out an old recipe and roll up my sleeves in the kitchen.  Still maintaining this blogging hobby...But I guess what I'm confessing is I've seldom managed to weave the habit of these regular hobbies into my weekly schedule.  



I'm thinking of the kind of talent-oriented, mindful hobbies that often sustained our forefathers after a hard day of work.  And I don't mean sitting around drinking beer.  I mean things like woodworking, automobile restoration, bee keeping, and such.



...well there's no time like the present.  It's still early enough to plan that summer garden.  I've got 5-10 recipes I'm fond of making, and I can start doing a couple a week.  Plus the Sun is out longer and the Spring temperatures are ideal for hiking.

Case in point.  Relative to the plain and rough landscape of Oklahoma, there is a pristine piece of Colorado-like public land reserved for hiking called Red Bud Valley State Park.  The main trail is a a big loop, with a few miles of trails total.  

I usually go clockwise, getting the hard part out of the way, climbing up a rock staircase of sorts to the top of a hill where the habitat shifts to a desert-like landscape of small cacti, lizards, and sandy soil.  Then it's down some cliffs, passing under some shady overhangs (a huge deer with gigantic antlers once stared down at me from one of these overhangs) and past a few caves that give rise to springs.  The last part is a winding path along a raised platform trail through a moist, cool valley of moss and fern trees.  For the Okie who yearns for more majestic natural beauties, this hour long hike is a pretty good fix.

That'll make a good start for kick-starting more hobbies in my daily life.  Plus making some smokey, bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers.

So do you have hobbies?  What are they?  The comment box is open!

My "Eating Plan"

For years I ate a refined, processed diet with a lot of sugar, flour, and soy bean oil.  Basically, if you could boil down the main ingredients of most items in the aisle section of your supermarket, you'll get those three ingredients.



The Standard American Diet

A few years ago I wanted to make a change, and we switched to a mostly "whole foods" diet.  It helps when you have a wife with very good health habits.  We switched from breakfast cereal to oatmeal, from lots of pasta to brown rice, and from meals in a box to fresh fish.

The next phase of my health journey was to reduce carbs, even the unprocessed kind.  The Atkins diet kicked it off, but it evolved, and I was eating a lot of veggies, salads, nuts, seeds, and cheese, as well as eggs, fish, and meat.  I lost a lot of weight and felt great.

With my health challenge right now, which I recently posted about, I'm not doing a strict low carb diet, that's too much stress on my body, so I'm doing what Dr. Andrew Weil (expert in "integrated medicine," has a big, fluffy white beard) calls an anti-inflammatory diet.  I basically did this before low carb. And it is actually a semi-low carb kind of diet, in that it really cuts out a lot of simple carbs, pasta, and bread.  It emphasizes foods that do not raise your blood sugar.  Not that I'm diabetic--I've been tested--but recent nutritional science has highlighted the importance on low glycemic index food, i.e. food that does not raise the blood sugar much.



Dr. Weil's Anti-Inflammatory Diet (ie way of eating)

The mechanism goes like this:  with high glycemic index food dominating the diet comes high insulin levels, which causes inflammation, and inflammation is synonymous with disease and illness.

If you have a bad cold, eating a Snickers will probably make it worse, even an orange.  Both are boiled down quickly to sugar in the blood stream, which increases inflammation (cue nasal congestion) and lowers the immune system.  In a matter of just a few minutes!

But if you're trying to overcome an ailment--who doesn't have an ailment?--and if that ailment is largely due to inflammation, itself largely due to high carb food, then it makes sense to eat an avocado or some strawberries instead of that orange.

So that's my eating plan right now.  Thoughts?

The West Wing

First, Happy Easter Okie Trad friends.  It's been a while.  May the radiant light of the empty tomb lift you up and preserve you.

I've been watching old episodes of the West Wing on Netflix.  Feels like I've been into it for a long time already, even though I'm just getting through season 2, and there's what 8 seasons.



So to start overcoming my blogging atrophy, I'll comment on some thoughts I have from watching the West Wing--or as a conservative friend jokingly calls it the "Left Wing"--from the perspective of a traditional Catholic.

(Preface:  for newcomers, by traditional Catholic, I mean a believing, practicing Catholic, following the bi-millenial tradition of the Roman Catholic Church...that said...)

So if you've ever watched the West Wing, you'd know it takes a lot of mental work to follow the plot.  A graduate degree in political science wouldn't hurt either, lol.  Scene after scene is a chaotic flood of political strategizing, as characters wind in and out of one office room in the White House after another.  If you're trying to exercise your brain muscles, this beats crossword puzzles or lumosity.com.



More than a decade ago, I spent some time watching these programs, but at the time I was focused on the liberal crap that the show does seem to promote.  The characters are liberal Democrats, and they are always arguing with idealism and virtuosity the merits of the socialistic approach to government.

What is the philosophical question about art--does art reflect society, or does society reflect art?  Without probing into the question, it does seem self-evident that the West Wing is/was a propaganda tool for the Democratic party.  Big media has ubiquitous power to manipulate the minds of evening TV watchers across the nation.  Have not many priests and bishops warned about the influence of TV on corrupting the minds of the youth?

At the same time, art reflects society, and in that respect perhaps the mature mind can take in said art and filter out the liberal values it is reflecting from society.  In other words, for entertainment purposes, I think an informed Catholic can watch shows like the West Wing while filtering out the liberal messages, so that one is not imitating the art.



I'm impressed by Martin Sheen's character President Bartlett.  The character is full of life, even though he knows secretly he has a diagnosis of M.S.  He is full of energy, humor, and passion.   His team of experts make for a fun and at times funny dynamic.  There's C.J. the press secretary.  The part you have to filter out is her feminist, aggressive personality.  The part that sticks is her humorous awkwardness.  Then there's the male trio speech writers/advisors to the president--Tobby who can always be seen carrying some kind of bagel or danish;  Sam, played by the dashing (yes I said dashing) Rob Lowe; and Josh, the neurotic, impassioned, idealist.

In conclusion, while I find the progressive politics of the West Wing to be uninteresting, I think this series is worth watching for mature audiences (hmm, I guess I'm saying I'm in that audience), if for no other reason than to challenge one's mental faculties.

Ask Your Doctor to Check Your Vitamin B12!!!

So, it seems very likely my recent health issues follow a Vitamin B12 deficiency who knows how long I have had.  Turns out you MUST consume regularly beef and milk.  We've been chowing down on chicken and ground turkey for years.  And I'm thinking Almond milk, despite its high amounts of Calcium, isn't a rich source of this vital substance.

Consider this a service announcement, interrupting your evening Netflix program.

If you are experiencing a) extreme fatigue, b) insomnia, c) muscle aches and pains, d) numbness/pins and needles in the extremeties...

GET Thee to a Doctor and get tested EARLY (as it seems I did).  You DON'T want these symptoms to go untreated.

IF you don't like doctors, scram down to your local lab and have them run a blood sample.  Normal range is 200-1000.  I'm sitting at 392 which is low, but still in the "mildly deficient" category.  If you're low, pick up a bottle of B12 at the pharmacy, the kind you put into a dropper and put under your tongue (really gets into blood stream).

I'll keep you updated on my B12 recovery.  Blessed Lent.

Oklahoma "Winter" Weather. Global warming?

If you've passed through the Okie Heartland recently, or live within it's humble borders, you may have noticed an uncanny trend of warm, pseudo-Spring-like weather since Christmastide.  Not a flurry nor a day of freezing temperatures, that I can recall anyway.  Not in February, and not in March.  Well as I've maintained before, Oklahoma is already a bit it's own Twighlight zone, and the weather is no exception.  After all, we have the #1 Meterology school in the WORLD at our own University of Oklahoma-Norman campus because of our funky, educational changes in climate (+ tornadoes, cue the movie "Twister").



This begs the question:  why the warm winter?  A happy smile from above? Just one of those serpentine meanderings that nature takes throughout cosmological time? How about a sign of global warming?

I suspect some of my fellow trads will rule out global warming.  Before all my fellow traditionalists, I must confess I do believe in it for two reasons.

1. science.   2. philosophy, i.e. Catholic philosophy.  Here me out friends.

1.  Science.  Drawing on logic, I find it highly unlikely that the overwhelming majority of environmental scientists in the last several decades would be SO blinded by intellectual pride and new age earth worship that the encyclopedic data they put forward to support global warming would so biased and skewed to cast doubt on the established scientific theory.   For the sake of argument, let's say most DO succumb to these vices, but we are talking about global consensus of world congresses of the most reputable scientists.

There is a supreme place for the Baltimore catechism, and a high place for the humanities--especially Catholic-oriented Literature, but there is also a very important place for science.  This is Thomistic.  According to the Angelic Doctor, knowledge of the Creator is based on knowledge of His Creation.



2.  Philosophy--i.e. Catholic philosophy.   As Thomistic philosopher of science Fr. S.L. Jaki articulated,  while modern science may tend to separate itself from philosophy, especially that inspired by the Catholic system, a true life of faith necessarily wed to philosophy cannot be something separate from natural science. Otherwise faith is based on blindness or emotion, and not reason.

So, to me, from a Catholic philosophical perspective, looking out across the Globe these couple centuries, one cannot help but see modern man raping the Earth.  Descartes was one of the pioneers of the modern experiment, and he decided that the human mind is separate from the human body.  Later modern philosophers would extend this to a "Man vs. Nature" philosophy.  Cue Charles Darwin and Jack Landon's Call of the Wild.



Descartes.  A Founding Father of Modern Philosophy

The dynamic basically works like this:  if the mind floats above and disconnected from the body, so modern man has dicatorship over nature, and is not bound by its laws.  We do not have to "act in conformity with nature," which is one of the precepts of Natural Law ethics.  How that plays out in modern history is alarming.

There are little checks in place to curtail modern man raping the Earth, from the industrial revolution to nuclear weapons to environmental pollution.  The common denominator is a few powerful tycoons with modern technology aimed at the surface of our planet motivated more by greed and lust for power than a love of God's Creation.

I have my own biases.  I spent a large portion of my childhood learning life skills in the outdoors through the Boy Scouts.  In college I would major inbn biology.  God has always given me a reverence for his Creation.




Also, I am Catholic.  While I would be one the last people to read Francis' document on the environment, it is Catholic Tradition that compels me to respect all God has given us in Nature.

The mountains, rivers, and streams.  The birds, butterflies, deer, fish, cats and dogs.  The majestic vistas, cool valleys, and mysterious caves.   The blue sky, the sun, the wind and rain, and the seasons of the year.  When I focus on the altar of sacrifice, it is not just the angels and saints I imagine looking down on it, or us believers gathered in a church to receive the Bread of Life, it is also the stars, the heavens, and all life on earth that is oriented there.

I hope I've made a compelling rhetorical case for my conviction that "global warming" is likely if not certainly a reality, at least something to think about.

Tell me what ya'll think in the comment box below.  Whether you are an Okie or not, a trad or not, or a Catholic or not.  This is my reaching out again on this little blog.

Friends, a blessed remainder of Lent.  May the crosses you are given during this season gain you a higher and more glorious place in heaven, where St. John says God will create a "New Earth" (Book of the Apocolypse).

Breakin' My Lenten Penance

First, I made a penance not to blog during Lent.  Mitigating factos compel me to break the silence.

Second, since some personal trials of which more or less illuminated my conscience, I must confess I was at least in part imprudent and hurtful to make criticisms towards the new Tulsa bishop and certain priests of the diocese.  My angle was catalyzed by pride coupled with some self-serving desire for blog stats. While my goal was to call attention to what seems to be a dismanteling operation to undo the trad works of Bishop-Emeritus Slattery, there is a degree of culpability  in this which must enter the mind when making an Examination of Conscience before heading into the Confession booth.  When separating our criticism of the sin from criticism of the sinner, the line can get easily blurred.

Third, my health issues have take a turn in a somewhat more serious direction, so fellow friends, this post is about asking for prayers.  I'm functional, yet a weird pattern of symptoms have unfolded across my body in the last 7 weeks, which has been actually been more taxing to mental stability than to my physical contentment.  So while I heal--God willing, prayers--I'll chalk up my latest crosses as my Lenten penance and let this daily pleasure be a much needed balm for my mind.

As Laramie Hirsch always says, "Toodles!"

Last Post 'Til Easter

Howdy fellow Okies, Okie Trads and Friends from Far and Near, wanted to let you know I'm givin' up blogging for Lent, which is a bit selfish to TBH, since it simultaneously curbs what has become at times addictive, while also serving as a Lenten penance.

Also please keep me in your prayers, as I'm recovering from a weird run of medical issues in the last several weeks-- seemingly serious but in the end minimal--that started with a Low Back Injury (which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy), then a facial nerve compression from sleeping on my hand (which produces paresthesia) which thank God is healing and "fading away," a CT scan to rule out stroke (which it did!), oh and for good measure an MRI (a 30 minute purgatorial experience) from my family doc to verify an arachnoid cyst in my skull (which turns out I have, but probably since birth, these things being benign--thank the Good God and Divine Physician!!!).

My last health challenge is overcoming weeks of insomnia, i.e. for me trouble falling back to sleep due to these symptoms (+ worries).  Such has been my pre-Lent gauntlet, which I offer up in reparation for my own sins, for the grace to once and for all overcome my personal sins, and in the end I think to become a stronger man and Catholic for it, according to my state in life.  

So besides abstaining from blogging, then, I'll also be offering up the residual effects of these recent crosses in the next weeks to come.

Come Easter Vigil when we stand outside watching Father light the Easter fire, know I'll be prayin' for you all.  So, I'll be seein' you all in a few weeks, 40 days as it were.  We'll celebrate the Resurrection with a roasted pig and flowing wine, as signs of the renewal of our Christian soul!  Happy Fat Tuesday!

The Good Fruits of Summorum Pontificum

I was just watching a youtube video talk about the Mass given by a former Okie Trad from OKC, Fr. Justin Nolan, FSSP, who I knew back in the day visiting Clear Creek monastery before he entered the seminary.  This young priest is brilliant; last I heard he was headmaster at St. Gregory's boys school back in Pennsylvnia.

Someone in the audience asked if the Church was heading in the direction of every parish having a Latin Mass.  Fr. Nolan said Yes, he thinks there will be at least half of parishes with the traditional Mass, and asserted that half the priests in the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia already say regular TLMs.

Folks, brace yourself!  Here's the current list!!!
https://www.arlingtondiocese.org/Catechetical-Resources/Worship-and-Prayer/Liturgy/Masses-in-the-Extraordinary-Form/

LINK


Holy Trinity Parish, Gainesville: Sundays at 12:30 p.m.


Saint Anthony Mission, King George: Sundays at 12:45 p.m.; Thursdays at 9 a.m.


Saint John the Apostle Parish, Leesburg: Sundays at 10:30 a.m. (in the Historic church).


Saint John the Baptist Parish, Front Royal: Sundays at 12:30 p.m.; Mondays at 7 a.m. in the Chapel; Wednesdays at 7 p.m. Contact the parish for more detail (540-635-3780)


Saint John the Beloved Parish, McLean: Sundays at noon; Mondays at 7:30 p.m. (Low Mass)


Saint Lawrence Parish, Alexandria: Sundays at 12:30 p.m.


Saint Mary Parish, Alexandria: Third Friday of each month at 7:30 p.m.


Saint Michael Parish, Annandale: Sundays at 7:00 a.m.


Saint Patrick Parish, Fredericksburg: Sundays at 1:30 p.m.


Saint Raymond of Penafort Parish, Springfield: First and third Fridays of each month at 7 p.m.


Saint Rita Parish, Alexandria: First Sundays of the month at 9:40 a.m.; Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:30 p.m.

Alzheimer's

So the Little Lady just got an FB message from her friend back in the Old Country. It seems a senior member of their SSPX Chapel has Alzheimer's disease.   The faithful try to visit her at her house, but she is hostile and insulting (dementia).  Kyrie eleison.



SSPX Brothers Praying for the Living and the Dead

Reminds me of my Uncle of sorts, at least that's what I called him, who was my aunt's live-in partner.  In the last few years of his life--God rest his soul--he suffered from Alzheimer's.  He went from being an occasionally grouchy person (lol who isn't), to being grouchy and combative 24/7.  It was horrifying to see him lose much of his personality.

This, in my mind, begs the question:  if a person is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, isn't it better if they pass on to the here-after BEFORE they lose their mind??  I mean, imagine potentially forgetting your own identity, much less that of the Holy Trinity or Catholic Church. I am not a moral theologian, but I'd imagine their culpability is akin to that of a severely mentally retarded child or adult.  I'm not sure.



God bless these patients, who are like "victim souls."

Recently I had my own sudden, odd, out-of-the-blue brush with a potentially life-threatening medical situation.  Thank the Good Lord and Most Merciful Divine Physician on High the diagnosis was minor and prognosis very good.  But it got me to thinking about death.   When an E.R. nurse asks you "Sir, do you have an Advanced Directive Order?" your life perspective changes, at least for a moment.

If you had Alzheimer's, how would you wish to be cared for?  Me, no, I wouldnt opt for a shotgun, but there are fools out there that would and do, God help them.  I would ask for "ordinary treatment to be preserved," but insist that the doctors DO NOT extend my life through any "extraordinary means."  My last petition would be to ride into the sunset with my faculties at least somewhat intact.

Anyways, please pray for Maam Rose who has Alzheimer's, that God will comfort her and give her some relative peace of mind during this final season of her life.



Agony in the Garden

The so-called "Alt-Right." The Okie Traditionalist Policy Statement

Catholics need to beware of the "Alt-right" phenomenon on the internet.

The "Alt-right" is not advocating for a return to a Christian society or a Christian sense of morality, in the least.

The "Alt-right" has very few constructive positions.  Its main positions are mainly negative, reactionary, libertarian, and uncivilized from a Catholic point of view.

The "Alt-right" also promotes the so-called "Manosphere," blogs and forums promoting a machismo, barbaric reaction of men to feminism.  It commonly promotes sexual immorality and un-Catholic attitudes towards manhood, womanhood, and marriage.  Beware of it.

The "Alt-rights" views on race and nationalism are often at odds with the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.

There are many political and philosophical alternatives for traditional Catholics actually interested in building up the future of our country, starting with the traditional social teaching of the Catholic Church, especially pre-VII papal encyclicals (which are actually easy reads).  

The comment box is open.

Depression, from the perspective of one traditional Catholic

Yes, depression.  Friends, if you're willing to read this entire blog post, all I can say is I want to reach your mind and heart about this issue.

I'm talking about "clinical depression."  A mental disorder of impaired mood, resulting in loss of motivation, interest in hobbies and social activities, pessimism, persistent obsessive and negative thoughts, decrease in hygiene and health maintenance, which affects work, school, and relationships.   If not dealt with, it will also affect your spiritual life.

Primary causes:  genetics, chronic abuse, loneliness.

This is the hard sell of my post: I believe that just about everyone in the USA, and just about everyone reading this right now, has experienced depression before, at least low grade depression.  That is, the absence of a regular state in life in which you are mentally healthy, balanced, clear-minded, confident, and living in relative peace with family and friend.

Here is my proof:  American, Western culture.  No syllogism needed.  We are not living in the Shire.

And as for the American, traditional Catholic, we are not living on Mount Athos, or in the woods.  It is metaphysically impossible for our psyches not to be permeated with the cultural, moral, and psychological toxicity of our tormented society, and not to experience at least on a material, neurological level that toxicity.  The three-dimensional brain, and powers of the soul (intellect, will, memory, imagination, emotions) all have limits, beyond which some forces of creation are more powerful.

I know this is a tough pill to swallow for some.  Family and friends who are more overtly depressed, can be the scapegoat for not recognizing our own mental malady.  Ask yourself, how often do I feel despair? gloom? a heaviness in my brain, like a wet blanket suffocating my mind?  a darkness, or greyness that invades my daily thinking?  perhaps not everyday, but frequently?



This Philosophy of Human Nature goes back to the modern philosopher Descartes

One temptation might creep in, to think of ourselves as an angelic spirit floating around a body.  As if depression is just a factor of the body, and not the mind, or that the mind is just a spiritual substance.  As if we can just will away our dark emotions, or only pray more and it will disappear.

Depression is not centered in the liver, pancreas, or eyeballs, it is centered in your brain, where your conscious personality resides.  We are not merely a torso with two upper and lower extremities, and and an empty skull cavity filled with a spiritual ghost.  Protestantism and the modern philosophical school of Rationalism would have us think so.  We are also an organic brain, which is the most essential organ of our human nature (angels = spirits;  humans = souls = spirit united to a body, even in heaven).

Another myth:  this is mostly about women.  In my opinion, the majority of American men are dragging themselves through life in a state of SILENT depression.  The signs and symptoms are clearly there.  We cope by becoming workaholics, alcoholics, assholes, who come home and isolate ourselves from wife and children.  We stoically embrace a Protestant work ethic, cuz that's what dad did.  The machismo ethic of manhood thinks its main opponent is modern, effimacy in men.  It isn't.  The main opponent of evil is the good, and the Catholic good for manhood is seen in Jesus Christ and his foster-father St. Joseph.  The traditional Catholic nature of a man is to be a gentleman, reason-driven, justice-focused, order-producing, piety and morals protecting.

Think about it.  We spend thousands of dollars a year for our physical health (insurance, copays, medications, nutritious food), but almost nothing for our mental health.  Illness sucks.  We all need and want health.  And health is not just of the body, but the brain and mind.  If the mind declines this is what also declines:  the body, behavior, productivity, work, finances, relationships, etc.

I think the hard part for trads in this, is the pharisaical stigma many religious folks attach to depression, especially from a jansenistic spirit thinking psychology per se is from the devil, and mental illness is necessarily a sign of spiritual sin.   The myth being that the depressed must be crazy, socially or economically unstable, immoral, or possessed.  To tell yourself or others you're dealing with depression, and to get some help for it, is tantamount to becoming socially stigmatized as "one of those people."  When in fact "those people" are 95%+ of modern, Westerners, on some level.

I'll raise my hand and say, yes, I've dealt with the signs and symptoms.  Its a cross. Psychological science does not do it justice in categorizing or defining it.  It takes poetry to delve into its reality.

But depression IS manageable if not also cureable.  The tragedy is most don't know this.  The remedy is relatively simple, but requires courage and commitment.

It takes humility, to admit it to yourself and others and get help.  To seek counsel from a Catholic counselor and/or good priest when depression starts to seriously impact your life.  To take medications/supplements/specific diet.  Journaling is a marvelous tonic as well!



There is hope.  The greyness may always be there, entering the mind from time to time.  This is 21st century America.  Unless you move to a sanguine, communal, tropical culture like the Philippines, odds are very high you're going to deal with this. But we can take control of it, for the sake of ourselves and our families.

We have to.  If our bodies are a temple of the Holy Ghost, that also includes the brain and mind, we must take care of the health of the mind.  Our vocations and states of life depend on it.

Onward and upward.

Fr. Tim Davison of Tulsa, interviewed by the Remnant, about saying the Latin Mass

Smoke circles glide across the room as I puff on my pipe, reminiscing on the good memories I have of one Fr. Tim Davison, who now celebrates daily and Sunday Traditional Latin Masses at St. Peter and Paul parish in Tulsa, where he is the pastor.



I must've been ten or something, kneeling in the grass adjacent to the property of the Tulsa abortion clinic.  The crowd chanted the Hail Mary, as a brave young priest knelt in front of the clinic's doors, chained to the front door handles.  He was peacefully and prayerfully blocking access to murder.  This young, zealous priest was Fr. Tim Davison.

Over the years I heard stories of his works, earning the reputation of a very hard working and pious parish priest, especially among the Hispanics.  He was good friends with Fr. James Jackson, one of the pioneers of the Fraternity of St. Peter American district, in the early days of the FSSP.



Fr. James Jackson, FSSP

I recall one story he told us, about a ski trip with Fr. Jackson.  Before hitting the slopes, on one side of the hotel room stood one priest facing a table offering the new Mass according to the 1970 missal, while the other faced his table offering the traditional Mass according to the 1962 missal.  I imagine those times with Fr. Jackson strengthened Fr. Tim's (as he is usually affectionately called) sensus traditio, i.e. sense of tradition.



Imo, controversy would hit the Eastern Oklahoma Catholic newspaper (i.e. before it was turned into a full throttle church of nice magazine) back in the day over Fr. Davison's changes to St. Peter and Paul parish.  Amidst interracial divisions between the Anglo-saxons and the Hispanics, Fr. Davison was leading a quiet crusade to restore the sacred to the sanctuary and divine liturgy under his charge.  He joined the other 1% of clergy worldwide to offer Mass "ad orientem," i.e. "facing East" towards the altar in the same direction as the people. Use of the altar rail and communion-on-the-tongue became the norm for Holy Communion.  Latin and Gregorian chant were reintroduced.



A few years ago Fr. Davison would decide to learn and start regularly celebrating the Traditional Latin Mass, including on Sundays.  At the Fraternity of St. Peter parish there was a group that wanted a distinctly Fraternity parish church, while a second group wanted to be a part of a regular diocesan parish but with the TLM.  Those factors + Fr. D saying the Mass of the Ages just down the road made for a recipe to create a new Latin Mass community, within St. Peter and Paul parish.

Curious if Fr. D's conversion story to Tradition had spread online, I googled it and discovered this amazing interview of Fr. D by the traditionalist Remnant newspaper:  LINK  I'll go ahead and post it, and insert some of my own thoughts here and there in RED, Fr. Z-style!

Fr. Tim Davison Interview with The Remnant!

Q. Thank you, Father. Can you please give our readers an idea of what motivated you to join the SP pilgrimage to Rome?

A.I have only been celebrating the traditional mass for about one and a half years, not very long. And when I was invited to join the pilgrimage to Rome as chaplain of the US group I had to think about it, because I have a parish, I have a school. I’m very busy [Yes, he is!!]; but after thinking about it I decided I needed to go, I need to be with other people who are experiencing this liturgy and its riches and that’s basically the motivation behind my acceptance of the offer to go along as a chaplain. I wanted to be with people to celebrate this event in the life of the Church, especially since I have been interested in the traditional liturgy for a long time.

So, in a nutshell, I decided to come along in this pilgrimage to find support and to also support those who are celebrating the traditional liturgy.


Q. What are the circumstances which led you to the decision to start celebrating the traditional rite?

A. My spiritual director for a time was a Benedictine, Father Mark Kirby [Fr. Kirby tried to found a Latin Mass monastery near Tulsa,but is now in
Ireland], who is also known for having written the book “Abuse Of The Holy Eucharist Is A Cancer At The Heart Of The Church!” He had a big influence on my appreciation of the liturgy and its history, and the traditional liturgy especially. So through that influence and that of the monks in a monastery in our diocese [That'd be the famous Clear Creek monks], I decided that I would like to learn this liturgy and to celebrate it. Another motivation was my mother, who is ninety-four years old and who has asked me to do the traditional liturgy for her funeral.

All those reasons came together, and then I asked the Fraternity of Saint Peter to teach me to say the old Mass [Word is Fr. also used an SSPX tutorial video]. They taught me and as I started celebrating I became more interested and very happy to learn it because it has given me a much deeper understanding of our Catholic liturgy and its tradition that I could not really have had from the Novus Ordo, even though I have been celebrating the Novus Ordo for my first seven years as a priest. But the experience of the traditional liturgy has deepened my appreciation of the mystery involved in the Eucharist, of the reverence and respect that naturally goes along with the gestures and so forth.


Q. Can you also tell us something about your parish and how your decision to start celebrating occasionally the TLM has impacted its life?

A. My parish has three distinct groups, starting from the English-speaking group served by priests celebrating the Novus Ordo in English. These parishioners tend to be older people [what's up with old people not liking the Latin Mass??], not too many young ones among them, and they are not too interested in the traditional liturgy; then we have the Hispanic portion which makes up the majority of the parish, but there is not a whole lot of interest there either; and then we have the third group, which is attached to the Latin Mass, but they were already going to another Latin Mass before, and so when they came over I ended up with servers, schola and everything I needed for the High Mass. So, I have these three distinct groups, and so far they have been staying pretty distinct. Some of the first two groups occasionally went to the Traditional Mass, but not too many seem all that interested.


Q. Unlike what many detractors of the old rite claim, it does not seem that your parish is experiencing a particular “spirit of division”…

A. Not at all. Everything is very peaceful and there is no problem, apart from trying to stretch myself to take care of the three groups. And celebrating the Latin Mass. Two low Masses a week on Mondays and Fridays and the High Mass every Sunday, takes more energy and time because it requires more work to celebrate it well, and learning the old calendar, the traditional and the ordinary form of the mass


Q. And what does the bishop say?

A. Our Bishop, Bishop Edward Slattery, is very traditional [there you have it]and, as far as we know, is the only bishop who celebrates the ordinary rite ad orientem and celebrates himself the Traditional Latin Mass. So, he is very open and favourable, I would say. In fact, on April 24, 2010, he celebrated a Pontifical High Mass in the extraordinary form to honor the fifth anniversary of the elevation to the papacy of Pope Benedict XVI at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC. It was the first Solemn High Mass celebrated at the National Shrine in more than forty years, before a reported audience of 3,500 including dignitaries such as Cardinal William Baum, as well as nearly 100 priests and seminarians. Moreover, Bishop Slattery brought the Fraternity of St. Peter into the diocese, who are based in the Most Precious Blood Parish, formerly known as the Parish of St. Peter [This is a Tulsa diocesan priest describing Bishop Slattery's legacy of traditional Catholic works in the diocese!].


Q. You are very blessed to have such a traditional bishop. Could you tell us a bit more about his background?

A. Yes, you are absolutely right. He is seventy-four and soon approaching the retirement age of 75. He originally comes from the Diocese of Chicago and it is no coincidence that this city has played and is playing such a prominent role in the development and spreading of the TLM, thanks to the presence there of the parish of St John Cantius under the guidance of Father Frank Phillips, who in 1998 founded the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius, a Roman Catholic religious community of men dedicated to the restoration of the sacred in the context of parish ministry.


Q. Could you elaborate on this?

A. Well, St. John Cantius stands as an unique parish in the Archdiocese of Chicago. It’s here where the above Canons Regular are based, helping many Catholics discover a profound sense of the Sacred. As one can read in their website, their mission is precisely that of helping Catholics rediscover a profound sense of the sacred through solemn liturgies in both the ordinary and extraordinary forms of the Mass in Latin and English, devotions, treasures of sacred art, and a rich program of sacred liturgical music, thereby permeating their lives with a renewed faith. Its mission is reflected in the community’s motto: Instaurare Sacra (Restoration of the Sacred).

In particular they are also offering training to those clergy wishing to celebrate the TLM and it’s here where my parish comes back into the picture, in the sense that we have here a Mexican priest and when he came to my parish to be my assistant, he saw that we were saying the Traditional Mass and asked if he could learn it. So I sent him to St. John Cantius in Chicago and he was number 1000 that they trained. If we consider that the Fraternity of St. Peter has trained probably another thousand, there may be some two thousand priests [Holy Moses!!]who are saying the Traditional Latin Mass in the US.


Q. Has the extraordinary form also influenced the way you celebrate the ordinary rite?

A. Yes, certainly. The biggest influence is the spirit, the silence, the reverence, the extreme care with which everything has to be done, to make sure for example that no particle of the Eucharist falls on the ground and/or remains on the celebrant’s fingers, or the need for him to keep his index finger and thumb together until these have been rinsed. I don’t think it would be a bad idea for the new rite to recover traditional discipline in this matter, a discipline fostering reverence and awe at what we are privileged to do. In a nutshell, the whole Traditional Rite of Mass from the beginning to the end draws us into the transcendent mystery of God.


Q. Are you hinting at differences, if any, between the two rites?

A. Exactly. It’s almost as if with the gestures, the silence, the words you can’t help but to be drawn into the mystery and contemplation. It comes out very strongly. With the novus ordo I never had the same sense. [that make's two of us Padre] I try to celebrate it as well as I can, I do it ad orientem [hope he isn't stopped from doing so], I don’t give communion in the hand, I do not have extraordinary ministers—but even here it is definitely still not the same thing. In my parish I have to celebrate both forms, in order to cater for the majority, who do not understand and are not that interested to know the history of our liturgy, how the liturgy was celebrated throughout almost the entire life of the Church. But we are working on that and certainly we are not giving up. For example, as of August we have introduced on Sunday a low mass at seven o’clock with the reading and preaching in Spanish, so we may have some of the novus ordo Mass people come to that Mass and maybe through that to the High Mass with preaching in English, and maybe actually it will have an enriching effect on the whole parish. To put it frankly, I think it is already having just such an effect, because the people who come to the Latin Mass come dressed appropriately, they have to keep silence and reverence in the church, so the other people see that and as a result their own behavior is also being positively influenced.

"Catholic Man Show" Radio Program, of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Interviews New Okie Trad Sam Guzman.

Its late Friday evening, and I'm puffing away on my new corn cob pipe, savoring some fine tobacco from Ted's pipe shop over in Utica Square, in Tulsa.  Some thoughts come to mind.

Catholic Men:

Catholic men need fellow Catholic men.  Not to compare the size of each others' wallets or egos, but to wrestle each other around a bit in sportsman-like fashion, to challenge each other to live up to the Catholic meaning of virtuous manhood, as exemplified in the life of Our Lord and his foster father St. Joseph.  Their humility, meekness, and justice is our ideal.

There's something about the bond between Catholic men, hashing out some issue of theology or politics while sharing a beer or smoke.  Disclosing domestic crosses, letting their hearts synchronize to the same slow beat of solemnity that comes with being providers and protectors, braving the brutal world of socio-economics.

Our blood runs thick together when we connect with Adam, Abraham, Moses, Our Lord, St. Joseph, and every manly, virtuous saint that's come down the pike of Church history.  We have an indefinable primordial need for fellow manly Catholic fellowship, to strengthen us in the Faith and in God's design for saintly manhood.

The "Catholic Man Show" of Tulsa:

So were my thoughts last night after listening to an excellent tradition-minded Catholic radio program aired here in Oklahoma, by two best friends and devout Okie Catholics, called the "Catholic Man Show."

The show airs Thursdays from 7-8 pm on 94.9 FM (or online here: LINK, with archived episodes)



Adam and Dave.  Okie Catholics, hosts of the Tulsa-based "Catholic Man Show"

They do sound a bit millenial (me being more Gen-X) and at times novus (me being relatively more a rad trad)--to be honest--but in Chestertonian fashion they build their weekly program--about a very traditional Catholic topic related to manhood--around sharing a fine liquor and discussing clever gadgets useful to men.  Very manly and entertaining, I'd say. Their weekly discussions are refreshingly realist, ironically humorous, while whimsically musing on matters of faith and culture. Definitely a thumbs up from the Okie Traditionalist!





And Okie Trad Sam Guzman of The Catholic Gentleman Blog:

Going back to last night, while driving across town in the cold and icy drizzle of Oklahoma in January, I caught the 7-8 pm Catholic Man Show, and was supercharged to hear their interview of a fellow Okie Trad Cat Blogger, and Latin Mass-devotee, namely Sam Guzman.  CLICK HERE

You may know Sam from his famed Catholic blog The Catholic Gentleman, by which, it seems, he's become a sought after voice on Catholic radio/TV.   You may have in fact run across his work in the last few days online, interviewing the famous Fighter Bas Rutten, now very openly a devout Catholic, who, like Sam, attends the Latin Mass!  Interview.

In the title to this blog post, I said "New Okie Trad," since Sam, his wife, and children recently and adventurously relocated to Oklahoma to live near Clear Creek monastery (Latin Mass).  He's now an Okie Trad, and I welcome him to Oklahoma, our Local Church, and the local Latin Mass community.

Okie Trad Bloggers Unite!  St. Joseph, pray for us!



Yes, Okie Trad, all quite true!

The "Jam on my Bread." The Little Things that Make Life More Tolerable.

Man the last couple months have felt like I've been "running the gauntlet," as it were.  A major family health problem needing daily assistance, the annual extended family holiday chill, the Christmas blues, and seasonal winter dips in serotonin levels.

Its been enough to tempt me to scarf down an XL New York style pizza.  That or stock up on more Kentucky Delux whiskey or pipe tobacco for my new corn cob pipe.

But despite these occasional, descending dips in life's Valley of Tears, I can still maintain enough mental alertness and energy to attend to my daily duties of state, well most of the time anyway.  That is, with the help of God's grace and a few daily pleasures, the "Jam on my Bread," as it was called my by Irish ancestors. Here are a few that come to mind.



"The Jam on My Bread"

1. A good long walk.  Next to the sacraments, I can think of no better activity for nurturing the soul.  The longer and more adventurous the better.  A traditional daily recreation for the monastic, the contemplative journey of a long walk does something for the mind, helping it meditate and sustain equilibrium.

2. My little dog.  Truth be told, often more loyal than any woman, friend, family member, or priest. That little canine would lay down in traffic for me.  She'll be immersed in chewing on a bone over on the couch and I'll whisper  "Hey."  It takes a moment for her to process what she heard and perk up and look over at me.  I'll just signal her with a silent, knowing smile, and in a heartbeat she's skipped across the room onto my lap to lean against me, and lay her head against my shoulder.  "A man's best friend."



Except my dog is about 1/10th the size.

3. Savory meals.  Readers may remember I eat low carb, so an example of a tasty evening meal is chicken wings fried in coconut oil, drenched in homemade butter-based Buffalo sauce, ranch, celery sticks, and a Caesar salad. Plus a tall, cold glass of diet Mt. Dew.

4. Alcoholic Spirits.  I don't drink a lot, but I allow myself modest quantities once or twice a week.  The cheap stuff, but there's nothing like the first minute or two after sipping on a whiskey chilled over one cube of ice.  Muscles relax, the tension subsides, and the respiratory rate slows.  Thoughts drift from daily-to-do lists and philosophical conundrums to happy-happy thoughts about the last movie I enjoyed, the memory foam pillow Santa brought me for Christmas, or my next savory meal.



5. Smoking my Pipe.  It is a singularly comforting experience to hold in your hand a warm pipe filled with tobacco, and to slowly draw from its medicinal properties.  A couple bowls will usually do the trick.

6.  Blogging.  If you have any inkling for writing, and need to get out your thoughts and emotions, then try Blogger.com to start a blog on any subject you like, that you would enjoy talking about.  Let your inner, creative voice come out.  In time you'll carve out a unique niche of readers.  For me it has been cathartic.  A daily bit of jam on my bread.

7. My new memory foam pillow.  Folks, you know when you discover something new in your life that suddenly cures a chronic ill, you say to yourself "Now why didn't I try this before?"  That light bulb moment came to me on the first night of Christmas.  I think I have a typical problem with pillows that require some adjustment and readjustment through the night, which disrupts your sleep and affects your health. No more. This special pillow is a heavenly God send.

"Okie Trad from Tulsa" SONG: Emailed from Texas

Well as Forest Gump always says, or his mother, "Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're going to get."  And when you blog about being an Okie Trad, you never know what kind of emails you're going to get.

This time it was from a fellow Catholic and blog contributor from Texas who once was an Okie living in Oklahoma City.  By the way, he relates he personally knows our Bishop Konderla from his experience at St. Mary's Center at College Station.

He wrote us a song for the blog, set to the tune of Merle Haggard's song "Okie from Muskogee"  Listen to the tune HERE.  Without further ado, I give you, 

"Okie Trad from Tulsa"

We don’t adore ourselves at Mass in Tulsa;
No happy clappy chummy huggy spree,
We still worship one God the Almighty;
We like prayin' right, and bein' free.

I'm proud to be an Okie Trad from Tulsa,
A place where Okie Trads hear Jesus call.
We still worship God and not each other,
And the Latin Mass the biggest thrill of all.

We don’t make a party out of Mass time,

We aren’t chatting up and holdin’ hands.

The priest the only one in Holy Orders,

In persona Christi for us all he stands.

I'm proud to be an Okie Trad from Tulsa,
A place where Okie Trads hear Jesus call.
We still worship God and not each other,
And the Latin Mass the biggest thrill of all.

We don’t make a virtue out of sinnin’.

Jesus didn’t say “go and sin once more”.

No one can tell us Hell is not forever,

In the logic of the Gospel, evermore.

David sang the psalms to God the Father.

But he failed to serve the people of the King.

So as a hireling he was rightly punished,

‘Til as a shepherd he could serve again.

I'm proud to be an Okie Trad from Tulsa,
A place where Okie Trads hear Jesus call.
We still worship God and not each other,
And the Latin Mass the biggest thrill of all.

Copyright 2016 © GM

PS If anyone knows how to make a youtube video using these lyrics with the Okie from Muskogee music in the background, let me know.  I could use it to update the post.

JosephOstermeir@gmail.com