My goal is to return to my level of somatic pain symptoms in September. I was showing signs of an impending full recovery after visiting the body of, and praying to the saintly Sr. Wilhelmina. If I’m at those low level symptoms I can keep going upward to full recovery to return to work and normal life,
To do so at this point, I need to get away from things causing high stress, to destress in a major way. Basically a friendly environment, stabilized sleep schedule, three healthy meals a day, an environment conducive to prayer, meditation, and recollection, where I can be in nature, working my daily routine of recovery.
That leaves the following: an inpatient mental health facility, monastery, retreat house or alternative. There are inpatient facilities that aren’t like a psychiatric hospital for suicidal people, but to address any mental health issue, and my condition of somatic pain disorder is mainly psychological, but these are extremely expensive.
Retreat centers only offer scheduled group retreats, and I’ve already contacted seven monasteries which either did not respond, were too expensive (Subiaco in AR = $125/day mandatory), or could not accommodate a longer stay.
That leaves me with no other choice than to go to a vacation style environment that meets the criteria, for as cheap as possible. I’ve never been into cruises, but per day they are actually cheap and a very stable environment. I think I could benefit comparably spiritually and psychologically from sitting on an open air ship deck contemplating the sunset praying Vespers from the Little Office, joining the wholesome group activities, and using the gym and spa services covered by the cruise cost. As fantastic as it sounds, my research has landed me on this option.
You can literally take a two week cruise for $1000, which is $2000 for one month. Based on recent partial remissions of symptoms, I suspect this would work.
However, cruises are mostly booked up this time of year, plus airfare to the ports is high If this does not work, the next best thing is an extended vacation near a beach in warm weather, eating cheap eats, and finding a cheap Air BnB. Round trips to Puerto Rico are actually cheap right now, and I can get an Air BnB near the beach. There is a Franciscan monastery and convent nearby, I could visit to ask for spiritual counsel and support, to eat wit them on occasion paying a stipend, and attend their liturgy of the hours. There is one weekly TLM plus a weekly Byzantine rite. Thinking to find a hostel where the owner takes mercy on me (since I would be paying them after all), and guides me daily in activities with support. Could do a month there for $2000, much cheaper than if in the states.
Hopefully this will destress my brain enough to help me emerge out of the nerve and muscle pain that is debilitating, and mainly psychological. Just a week ago for one day I was nearly symptom free but then it all came back. So I have hope.
I started this daily post about 20 minutes ago, but about 10 minutes in I thought of begging for financial help from readers. My wife barely pays the bills and I am unable to work. My mom is in a fixed income, and what savings she has is for a new roof so she doesn’t lose her house insurance.
Basically I would need $2000 or more for this. I could start a GoFundMe, but that would mean using my legal name vs my online name, which affords me a much needed anonymity considering my topics and profession. But I may still do that since the need outweighs the need for anonymity, plus eventually I could privatize the fundraiser separate from the blog.
In the meantime, is there any reader who is of the means to help me? Or one of you who knows someone with that means? If someone will sponsor this, I can send you updates with pics and video on my recovery. I will pray for you and yours long term.
Also, if you have any alternative ideas, please let me know.
If you can help, please text my wife at 918-282-6480, or email her at paixzafra@yahoo.com I can provide a letter from my doctor verifying my condition and current inability to work, as well as references from priests as character references.