There are plenty of newer books and articles out there by lay Catholics giving their own ideas about Catholic manhood, or masculinity. Here are my own thoughts the essential Catholic teachings and practices, according to traditional priests, spiritual directors, catechisms, Catholic conferences, approved works by priests or theologians, and the dogmatic/moral teachings of Holy Mother the Church. All for FREE! These are habits I myself work on daily, too often falling short, but to develop Catholic manly virtue in myself, until the day I die.
10 Ways to Develop Catholic Manhood:
1. Pray daily: the rosary, Little Office of the BVM, and meditate on a Gospel reading.
2. Go to confession every 3 weeks or less, to obtain graces, and fulfill the requirements for a plenary indulgence. And to Holy Communion at each Sunday Mass.
3. Pray a daily, perpetual novena to St. Joseph to bless your work, prayer life, and to grow in manly virtue. Meditate on his manly character, and Christ's, before all other examples. Focus on developing the virtues of justice and fortitude.
4. Abstain from meat on Fridays as your weekly penance. Give up natural goods that are serious vices that cause you to sin, especially mortally, such as drinking if that becomes abused.
5. Practice always being a gentleman in public and in private, especially to women, in charity, civility, kindness, helpfulness, and courtesy. This is one of the main obligations of being a husband.
6. Be a leader of your family, by showing good example, reminding everyone of religious and moral truths, carefully overseeing all the daily affairs, making the most critical decisions yourself when there is not agreement, and leading daily prayer.
7. Know when and how to fight the enemy. Wear a blessed crucifix with a St. Benedict's medal, scapular, carry a rosary. When confronted with abuse or threats of any kind, pray the prayer to St. Michael. Then calmly try to discuss the situation. Imitate the manly saints in this. Be calm, just, and logical. Know how to identify an enemy, by the deceitful and arrogant way they respond. Don't back down in critical situations, i.e. the ones's that affect, directly or indirectly, your life, your spiritual or mental health, your livelihood or property, and especially your family and friends. Speak the moral Truth to them, warn them the consequences if they continue, and that you will not stop confronting them---IF they refuse to stop. When they see you do not resort to threats of harm, or violence (emotional or physical), but won't back down, this alone will either make them back down, or you will have to create distance between you and them. Then love your enemy by forgiving them, praying for them, offering them kindness WHEN they approach you needing help, otherwise do not spend time thinking about your conflicts with them, or talking to others about them, or interacting with them socially, except when strictly necessary as with work or family obligations. They are not your friend, but an enemy of you and God, who is already taking out His revenge on said person.
8. Make sure to practice basic daily hygiene and health maintenance. Dress modestly. Do not concern yourself with contemporary fashions about hair, facial hair, clothing, shoes, watches, body building etc, all of which tends towards vanity. There is nothing wrong with working out, dressing nicely, having a manly beard, or eating red meat to up your testosterone. But don't buy into this false ideology being put out there by certain lay Catholics, of a hyper-machismo male, that a Catholic man NEEDs to be athletically fit, muscular, with a cool haircut and beard, smartly dressed (don't forget the pipe smoking), type A personality, making or trying to make six figures or at least upper five figures, very confident and savy to the ways of the world. Don't try to fit this artificial mold, which is not Catholic Tradition, but rather a pagan philosophy, in order to esteem yourself before God and your brothers in faith as a good, respectable Catholic man, husband, or father. All those things are natural goods in themselves, but when all put together as a value system about manhood, when treated as something essential or a high ideal for the trad Catholic male in the modern world, then you are dealing with an Ideology straight from hell, masquerading as Catholicism. If in doubt, just ask any traditional priest if this advise is correct.
9. Work hard daily to provide in some way for you and your family, but rest on Sundays. Orient work and money making to prayer and holy leisure activities, to family obligations, religious works, and being a leader over your family. Your secondary duty, while important, is to provide financially; your primary duty is to protect your loved ones spiritually and morally, to provide a holy, domestic church and lifestyle, and guide them towards God and salvation.
10. Study your Faith, in particular the life of Christ, and all the Saints who were men, in particular lay men if you, like most, are not called to priesthood or religious life. Study the core essentials, instead of getting focused on complex details in theology or global politics. But do study St. Thomas and the like, especially to understand core questions related to morals, the sacraments, marriage, manhood, the virtues, etc. Read a lot, but keep your reading list narrowed down to what is most useful, in your faith, vocation, work life, hobbies, and the political/economic situation.
All praise be to Jesus Christ.
Questions, constructive feedback, or just to say hey, email me at:
JosephOstermeir@gmail.com