You do the math, and realize he spent 10-15 minutes with each person in front of you. You walk away perplexed, annoyed, and possibly demoralized by the whole experience, especially since this has happened to you a number of times in the past.
A woman goes into the confessional. You see her head for the chair to sit down face-to-face with Padre. There is the occasional noise of chatter coming through the door. A seeming eternity later, she comes out smiling in a state of psychological bliss, oblivious to the line of leg-cramped penitents waiting..
And if you do manage to actually get inside the confessional, you yourself kneel down behind the screen, say "Bless me Father for I have sinned..." telling any grave sins you may have committed, number and kind, and/or your venial sins since your last confession, all in a minute or two. But then even considering you may have just confessed a mortal sin that could objectively damn your soul to hell, the priest typically says something like "Very good confession. For your penance, say one Our Father. Go in peace."
I do not have the gift of x-ray vision, but I am able to gather together all the sensory data and observational experience I have had over the years in these scenarios, and use deductive reasoning, common sense to analyze this troublesome state of the post-Vatican II era confessional.
My Analysis.
What I think usually is happening, is you have a Catholic who is uncertain about certain moral teachings of the Church -- birth control, sex outside of marriage, divorce and remarriage, etc. They are using the confessional like they are meeting with Father to grapple with their doubts and questions, as if it is free therapy.
And Father, instead of suggesting they make an appointment for pastoral counseling, following the rules and ritual of the Church regarding confession, making sure to keep their confession succint in the interest of time and other people's souls, allows them to go on and on, regardless of how long the line is, or who in that line needs absolution before they can go to Communion.
You may have hurried through mowing the lawn that afternoon, got dressed for confession, and drove down to church just to be gas-lighted by this tedious torture for the umpteenth time.
The Contemporary Attitude of Priests toward Confession.
With exception of course, deduction and common sense likewise tell me what is the common attitude of most, contemporary Catholic priests. They do not believe that we all are in serious risk of damnation. They believe most or all are going to heaven. They do not believe there are mortal, grave sins that if unconfessed, except in the case of perfect contrition, certainly result in damnation.
They believe that if someone commits adultery, looks at pornography, cheats on their taxes, etc, that it is not necessary to confess those sins and be absolved by the priest in confession before receiving Holy Communion. They are participating then not only in sacrilege towards the Sacrament of Confession, but also to the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
They Resent Having to Hear Confessions.
In fact, they resent having to be there in the first place. The very fact that the traditional penitent knelt behind the screen, reverently and quietly recited the formula for confessing sins, indicates to them that they are scrupulous and weighed down by a spiritually dead form of conservative Catholicism.
It is as if the priest is protesting traditional Catholic teaching and discipline on the Sacrament of Confession, in a passive aggressive way, at the expense of the devout parishioners.
And folks, this treatment, attitude, and phenomenon is everywhere across contemporary parishes, as I've experienced in many modern Catholic churches, in different dioceses, and as shared with me by friends over the years.
The Good News.
Our Lord instituted the Sacrement of Confession to heal us spiritually. One of the best feelings, emotionally and spiritually, is when you leave the confessional, with a clean, pure, white soul. It is a wonderful, beautiful, and necessary part of the life of a Catholic.
If you are forced by circumstance to go to a contemporary parish, if you want to avoid this mental torture and spiritual abuse, I suggest getting there very early to beat the crowd. If confession is scheduled for 4 pm, get there at 3:45 to pray and be first in line. Filter what the priest says, and then go home.
But instead, I highly recommend going to confession to a priest who celebrates the Latin Mass, who has received the proper traditional, priestly formation. You can generally trust that the traditional priest is orthodox, reverent, and respectful of the etiquette and purpose of the confessional. Typically, they will explain the moral teaching and give practical advise how to overcome the sin, and in just a few minutes at most. They have respect for the time and well being of those standing outside in line.
Where to go in Tulsa.
If you are from the Tulsa area, there is one assistant tradition-minded priest at Sts. Peter and Paul church who says a Latin Mass, but he speaks very little English, and reports indicate the pastor wants the Latin Mass community there to come to an end.
That leaves Most Precious Blood parish, where the traditional Mass is offered by the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter. They have two priests, with frequent confession times, including before and often during all Sunday Masses. This excellent, vibrant, friendly parish is located just 5-10 minutes southwest of downtown Tulsa near Chandler park.
Link to parish website: HERE.