Friday, July 13, 2018

Traditionalist Catholics need to Drink more Alcohol! I agree!

Disclaimer: If you struggle with past or present alcohol abuse, I encourage you to seek the counsel of a good, traditional priest.  

I tip my hat to Okiepapist, past contributor here, for his observation many trads need to drink more spirits, figuratively was my point, but his point was we need to literally be drinking more!  Not in excess, but that trads would greatly benefit from upping our consumption of fermented beverages.  I'm compelled to raise my glass in agreement as I ruminate and reflect on this intervention.  I've heard the same admonition before from within other trad quarters.  It seems to be a recurring theme, that begs the question about the religious temperament of the Latin Mass community as a whole.




Ja, Das ist richtig, Okie Trad!

This advise goes for yours truly as much as any ecclesiastically gas-lighted, over-wound Catholic out there trying to keep the Faith (and our sanity).

Start 'em young I say, spike the baby bottle! Nothing will teach a little youngster as much about the virtue of moderation, and indirectly all virtues, than by learning the value of moderating drink. A few ounces of wine at the Sunday dinner table will help your eight year old appreciate the fruits of the Earth, and that alcohol, like all other sources of nutrition, is not sinful but sustaining.

When Jr. has received the sacrament of Confirmation, and is able to endure the physical hardship of carrying a heavy backpack for a ten mile mountain trek, he should be handed the whiskey bottle when it is, later that night, passed around the campfire.




My Current Go-To

He will be far less likely to become an adult alcoholic, or addicted to anything. I guarantee Our Lord enjoyed some local brew with his foster father St. Joseph, at the end of a hot Mediterranean day of hard physical labor.

The next time your church circle is tempted to form its own informal parallel parish within a parish (I've heard too many stories of intra-parish trad rebellions to shake a stick at), instead turn your basement into a bar lounge, and invite your clique over to theologize, laugh, and play. Stock up on vodka, whiskey, wine, and beer, and invite Padre over for a drink, to respectfully hash out issues.

The next time your trad priest preaches a seemingly watered down sermon, or swings the other way and chastises families from the pulpit by name for owning televisions (I've witnessed this), don't rush home and stew in your chair in anger. Instead, hit up the local Irish pub on your way home from Mass, and make it a tall Guinness. Let your anger be quenched by ethanol and fermented, nutrient-dense grains!  Far more healthy than the toxic, defensive, anti-social tactics that you'll see play out within trad circles.  



Kilkenny's Irish Pub in Tulsa. 
Minutes from any local Latin Mass.

Are your church gatherings growing stale? Mixed with boredom, petty quarrels, or insularity? Nothing will open up the group, get the sphincter muscles to relax, and the stress hormones to dissipate more than installing a full bar in your parish hall!  I'll be the first to volunteer to bartend. "Father, can I convince you to have another beer?"

There's no better cure for pseudo-Catholic religious fundamentalism (or Jansenism, or whatever you want to call it), than a Boiler Maker. Stop abusing the gift of language, please, and instead of chastising the seeming worldlings among your ranks beneath you for not following Amish rules of conduct, drink that tall beer. At the bottom of the glass is a shot of whiskey you gulp down.  Grace builds upon nature, after all.  




Let us trads install full, liquor bars in our home, to accompany our family altars, libraries, wood burning stoves, and pianos.  The next time you go to the bookshelf to read yet again another book about the evil New World Order, take a break and read The Rule St. Benedict, with classic commentary.  The Rule was/is a tonic for all things extreme in Catholicism.  It prescribes daily wine for the monk, after all.  Or at least make yourself a White Russian to go with your next conspiracy theory.




Planning to buy something like
this in a few months

After all, St Paul recommends drinking wine everyday. It's right there in the Bible folks. And old St Paul could get pretty hard core.

Tomorrow night I'll be relaxing with my favorite R&R whiskey, and checking the comments below to see if you agree.

Have a good weekend. Cheers!