Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Finding Peace as a Traditionalist Catholic

Re-posting this post I wrote in 1/17.   Some thoughts of which I think most if not all fellow trads can relate.  Edited for brevity.

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So I just finished watching an old 2003 EWTN interview of then Cardinal Ratzinger about the troublesome state of the Church.  At the end Raymond asked how we can maintain hope in the Church during this period of Crisis. His answer was, like the good Bavarian that he is, very simple, to maintain our "faith in the Lord, especially in the Eucharist."

I'll be the first Trad to confess this is difficult in today's Church.  There are constant temptations to despair over the Faith today, and I do give in now and then, at least to discouragements. 
Do you ever? 

Looking down deep inside, I have to admit to myself I am not entirely at peace being alive during this time in Church history, both as a Catholic within the Universal Church, and also as a traditionalist member in the Latin Mass movement.

I have to challenge myself, has my necessary adherence to Catholic tradition been drawing me closer to God?   Has attendance exclusively at the TLM and almost exclusive interaction in traditionalists circles in in Church given me greater peace, a deeper spiritual life?  Catholic tradition is integral to a living faith, but being a traditionalist in itself does not necessarily equate to a vibrant faith.  I think you would agree.  These are questions I ask myself from time to time as I navigate the Latin Mass movement itself, since attending the truly extraordinary form of the Mass beginning nearly two decades ago.  

When by all appearances the authentic liturgical, spiritual, and theological life of the mainstream Church has been largely set aside, it becomes a very relevant question--how to maintain one's faith, peace of mind, and sanity during this time, even when, as any trad priest will admit, the traditional movement itself is fraught with division and dysfunction?

I think most trads are aware of this,  but not all are okay about openly discussing it.

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The Seven Sacraments

But I'm finding myself more and more lately reminding myself that our faith is not in men, or priests, or eachother,  or the traditionalist movement,  but as Cardinal Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI) said, our "faith is in the Lord, especially in the Eucharist."  Focusing on the errors in the Church today, being overly preoccupied with traditionalist polemics, about which traditionalist Society is worthy of support, on the problems of Vatican II or the new Mass, one can weaken their faith in God.  I've fallen into that mentality before, and I can report firsthand that Yes, that does weaken your faith.

Traditionalism can be paradoxical.  As a movement it is necessary, for access to a lived Catholic tradition, but in my experience sometimes the focus is on the wrong things.  Just follow the threads in trad forums; they often obsessively delve into polemical topics being discussed for the umpteenth time, like a broken record. 

Or consider your experience joining a TLM parish or chapel.  Perhaps your experience is the exception, but from my own experience, and most trads I've talked to about this (online and in the flesh), the TLM community has a tendency sometimes to be semi-closed off or even privatized.  Nice people who can sometimes pick up their pitchforks in fear of the newcomer, easily explained by years of ecclesial shellshock.  When a stranger jumps into the trenches, it's understandable to raise your rifle, but later discover they share the same faith and values,  despite differences in temperament and character. 

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The trad parish/chapel is a semi-strange phenomenon to me, growing up in the parochial system.  In my experience, the group dynamic very understandably tends to turn away from the drowning,  institutional Church to private devotion, from the diocesan structures to separatist-like enclaves, or from treating the parish (or potential parish) as a "private association of the faithful" rather than what the Church says it really is/should be: a "public association of the faithful."

In general though, I don't think this is deliberate.   As individuals, I find your average traditionalist Catholic to be more virtuous than your average non-traditionalist Catholic.  After all, most are really there at the TLM with the clear intention of being a faithful, orthodox, practicing, and therefore virtuous Catholic.

But traditionalism can become a distraction.  I think of wasted mental time I myself have used up dwelling too much on the problems in the Church and the inner workings of the traditional movement. Haven't many of us trads focused too much time on these things?  

When your vocation is to being a husband, father, and professional, your priority is--or should be--daily work and prayer according to your domestic and work life. 

I guess what I'm confessing in this post is that I am not exactly 100% at peace as a traditionalist Catholic, in any sector of the Church,  which is as much my own fault as it is of our church lesdership.  Finding spiritual peace during this period is a major challenge.   Perhaps you can relate. 

I've come full circle more than once in my journey of faith.  As a teenager I studied Catholicism seriously before deciding to be confirmed, which was a kind of conversion experience.  Later embracing Tradition was another step.  Embracing the advice/point of view of Archbishop Lefebvre was another.  But, something has been stirring in me for a while to take another step.  Its hard to put in words.

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Let's put it this way.   Here's a crazy idea I'll throw out there, for a rad trad that I am: according to canon law, I belong to my territorial parish.  As liberal as it is (and it is!), there ARE jewels of traditional Catholicism to be found on its grounds.  What is stopping me from going to Adoration there, getting to know the pastor (imagine the conversations I could have with him about Catholic Tradition) or going to the occasional parish Bingo or Fish Fry?  There's normalcy in those kind of things, and true normalcy is an essential nutrient to sustain human nature.

I must admit, I've never quite fit into a traditionalist mold, or tried to.  If a guy at Mass likes wearing baby blue suit coats or green suspenders to Mass, I'm A-ok with that.   Odds are if you follow this blog and can appreciate my point of view,  for what it's worth,  you are too. 

So my final thought is, perhaps my fellow Okie Trads can relate to what I'm putting out there in this post.  Our love of Catholic tradition and the traditional liturgy is what binds us together in a special kind of friendship.  We do tend to be a bit crazed and anti-social at times (that includes yours truly), but usually its no more than mild neurosis and difficulty coping with the ecclesial situation.  My personal goal, which I'd wish for all my fellow trads, is to be at peace during this time in the Church.

Thus ends my soliloquy. Pax vobiscum!

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  1. The mainstream Church is in such a mess and there is so much infighting within the traditional Catholic movement I can understand how it can cause anxiety. But I am comforted and feel at peace when I pray to the Blessed Mother and to Saint Gemma Galgani. And I am also fortunate enough to have access to the traditional sacraments.

  2. Really enjoyed this article. I love the writings of Joseph Ratzinger. I struggle with the 'canon law' issue of territorial parish, sounds to me no different than a cheap salesman being possessive. I thought this was a Universal journey.

  3. Thanks "Anonymous."

    Yeah, I wish my "territorial parish" was traditional Catholic. I just whipped out my calculator and guesstimated that in the 17 years of being a traditional Catholic, I've had to spend $3000 in gas to drive way across town to a proper church. I should send a bill to my local bishop! lol I just might do that!

    Actually, that would make for a fun future post!! hmmm

  4. Oh I forgot to add wear and tear on the vehicle. Say 50 cents per mile, per state law, comes out to about $12,000 more!

  5. I can relate to this article very well.
    My background is I live in New England where TLM is rare. One must drive. We have attended a NO parish for many years now, and your point is a good one and what keeps me going back, the community. Gee don't I sound like a good Protestant? But really, it is lovely (most times) to be part of something. I know the people a bit and they know me. We see each other at our Tag Sales, etc. It's nice. The downside is, it's got it's increasingly annoying Pope Francis cheerleading section in the bulletin and homilies, and these are really growing harder to take. The hymns are the other negative factor, many Southern Baptist hymns, which I like very much in a Baptist Church, but I want to sing lovely Catholic hymns, and someone has decided they aren't any good...sigh..

    Here's the thing. Right now I'm kind of lost too. This has all become somewhat of an obsession, certainly a distraction, and it's affecting my prayer life in a negative way. It's not exactly affecting my faith, at least, I don't think so, but positively it is depressing and frustrating.
    This era is unparalleled. People can point to this time or that time, but no time was like this one.

    1. The other day we attended a Novus Ordo funeral Mass at a small rural parish. Most of the people were wearing t-shirts and jeans, and held their hands up in the air during the Our Father, and such. But these folks were reverent and prayerful.

      It was a refreshing change of pace to experience a more regular parish community after the Mass in the parish hall, over a spaghetti dinner, and for conversation about the weather. The non-parishioner visitors were treated just like regular people. Novus Ordo, religiously compromised, yes, but open and sociable.

  6. Darned good post this week!

    Just follow the threads in trad forums; they often obsessively delve into polemical topics being discussed for the umpteenth time, like a broken record.

    Which is why I got bored with much of the content.

    When your vocation is to being a husband, father, and professional, your priority is--or should be--daily work and prayer according to your domestic and work life. Grappling the paradoxes of traditionalism doesn't even come close to being added to the daily To-Do List. It makes for recreative, Sunday blog posts

    You're tellin' me my own life!

    The poster before me is correct. There has never been a time in the Church such as now, and it only makes sense that so many of us feel like lost, scattered, feral sheep. Strangely enough, I find consolation in reading Catholic prophecies, namely Our Lady of Good Success, among others.

    1. Our Lady of Good Success is a good one. But it did scare the hell out of me. :)

  7. Beautifully written. I did find solace for my soul in the Eastern Church. It was the only door open to me. I see many making their way Eastward; those who had almost given up on a church vocation, those families who feel persecuted for being traditional (you know, with all the littles), and the ones like me who after so many decades have just about given up on church. Lord, come quickly, and have mercy on us.

    1. Thanks "Anonymous." As they pray in the East: Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

  8. Great stuff! So many of us can relate. As I struggled with these things l've often marveled at how demons have a strategy to derail us now matter where we are in the spiritual life. Satan can get us coming or going, trying to turn even good and beautiful things to his purposes. God is so patient as we hit these potholes on the way up Mt. Carmel.

  9. Great post. Your blog is very relevant and your open-mindedness refreshing, as it often marks the difference between zeal and zealotry. Our new blog addresses some current Church issues in the light of Catholic Traditionalism and it is my hope that you and others will find our arguments relevant. Feel free to reach out to us if you have an article that you want us to consider for publication.

  10. I relate to much you have discussed.
    I have also thought that maybe one focused too much on polemics. I've also questioned my role at the local parish. The problem is that I simply can't take the Novus Ordo seriously. In my mind it's completely fake.

    I love the Eastern liturgies, and I understand wanting to seek them, but I cant. I'm a western European and I want the west to be revitalized. The TLM is my natural rite. I'm not knocking anyone else for seeking it though. We're all different. I don't even knock the Novus Ordo people, or consider them "less-than" Catholics, but I lack the ability to take the NO seriously, no matter how I've tried.

    Your post has me convinced that I should avoid polemics a while and focus on prayer. I felt this way last night at adoration, but your post has confirmed it for me.
    Thank you.