I’ve been discerning lately how to resist temptation to despair in my illness, and have become very aware of the dynamic of the devil sitting on your shoulder battling against you. I never thought much about the specifics of how that process plays out until now.
Tragedy hits in one form or another turning your life upside down. The devil then tempts you to falsely accuse yourself of putting unjust blame on you for it, for violating the law of man (vs. God) that commands total commitment to earthly happiness, as if the individual alone has total responsibility for their life vs any outside source, especially God. For the devil, you create your happiness, and in the end must then be totally responsible for your own suffering. That at least is the lie he spins.
Something very bad happens creating great suffering and the devil tempts you to think you absolutely must be the cause, or the main cause, or any cause at all, in which case you may not even be the cause at all, or any cause. He basically tempts you to scrupulosity and playing the judge over our soul. The devil then tempts you to think the situation must be beyond any repair and means pure misery for the rest of your life. Then he tempts you to think your life no longer has value or purpose, and that the only solution is suicide which he tries to frame as euthanasia, that you will not, or probably will not go to hell for eternity for it. Or he tempts you to give up on life in one form or the other, and the more the person under his control destroys their life the more the devil tempts them ultimately to suicide.
I think this dynamic plays out for most people dealing with severe, chronic illness, or who experiences any life-altering tragedy such as from a serious car accident. The devil is sitting waiting or even trying to contribute to these tragedies to lead people involved down this road towards total despair and ultimately damnation.
I confess to the reader the devil is waiting for me every morning I get out of bed in my pains, falsely accusing me of my illness, or trying to get me back into a cycle of unjust self-accusation and temptation to despair. He tries to mess with my mind about the cause and prognosis of my symptoms, to just give up.
But I will not give up because the devil tells lies. My guardian Angel is on my other shoulder with infinitely greater wisdom and strength than the devil on the other shoulder, telling the absolute truth through illumination. Only God knows to what degree I may or may not be to blame, that all suffering is a reparation for either our sins or others’ sins, that even the worse suffering itself has purpose in reparation for sin, to save sinners, thar we must always have hope, and that great suffering is a test, if failed definitely means damnation in a real place called hell, or if succeeded eternal life in heaven.
Those two messages are always at war, one false and evil hell bent on our eternal destruction, vs. one that is true and aimed at our eternal happiness, one from the devil, the other from our guardian Angel and God.
Let us fight that good fight. To pray ceaselessly as the Bible commands, to maintain faith, hope, and charity to the very end. In the end, St. Michael will thrust his sword through the devil’s head and throw him forever into hell. On this his feast day, St. Michael the Archangel, pray for us, and defend us in battle.