I was going to write a separate blog post giving an update on my health crisis situation, but I deem that level of information would be unhelpful to my own progress out of it, except to spin the topic to loftier subjects than what is transpiring right now inside my body. And it is in my own benefit to continue writing this blog to address the transcendent truths of this life, in light of my Christian, Catholic Faith, and viewpoint as a religious and cultural traditionalist.
But I will say I’ve had tests exhausted, seen multiple primary care doctors and multiple specialists, and the final conclusion is, I will admit for the same of public education, psychosomatic disorder and secondary issues of some vitamin deficiencies, back arthritis, and sleep apnea. The final diagnosis going forward is basically an extreme physical reaction in my body to an extreme level of stress that had escalated to even more extreme levels resulting in my current symptoms.
Considering six years ago I went through an essentially identical pattern of escalating extreme stress, leading to the EXACT same pattern of symptoms, at the time doctors also suggesting a psychosomatic response, and that over the course of months back then those very symptoms gradually vanished returning me to a relatively normal state of health, and that many tests done this time around are not showing an alternative, serious physical explanation, with multiple doctors concluding the same thing, then my prognosis is, objectively good. In due time, God’s will be done, I can expect a recovery. I will persevere.
That is as far as I will go into details, but please keep my recovery in your prayers. This has been an extraordinarily humbling experience, truly allowed by God for my own redemption. And of my loving wife and mother standing by my side through this.
The agonies of life are a mystery, but they find their meaning in the transcendent agony of Christ when He cried tears of blood. In the garden of Gethsemini, Our Lord expressed the feeling of agony, of misery, crying out to the Father for mercy. Yet He knew the Father would not be speaking to Him that night nor sending angels to comfort Him. His own apostles were either hiding or snoozing feet away while he suffered torment. It was dark, the devil mocked Him, and he knelt on the hard, rocky ground simply asking for the Father’s grace. But there was no doubt or despair. Just pure, loving suffering in that dismal state. He didn’t lie down or whine or turn away from heaven above, but knelt with back straight, arms held out in supplication, His heart united to the Father’s heart.
Truth made Him strong. The truth that His Passion and Death would save mankind and open the gates of heaven. He held on tight to that truth just as He would hold on tight the next day, on Good Friday, to the Cross.
This reminds me of our current dark age. We are surrounded by grave, mortal sin everywhere. At the gym I recently joined, I keep seeing the same “transexual” man wearing the same sports bra every exercise session to showcase his fake “breast”implants. The man next to me in the whirlpool refers to “her” in a way that suggested acceptance of his perversion. While also talking about his new job and gain in salary, to me a stranger.
Headlines suggest Trump will be found guilty, disqualified from the election, or will run the country from a 6’ x 8’ cell. It’s a diabolical war against the good and true his policies represent. The Democrats are literally waging a satanic war against not only Trump and the MAGA movement, but all American conservative Christians. And odds are they will win again.
The global powers that be are waging the same diabolical war of evil vs the good, played out right now in Ukraine. I remain convinced this will result in world war and the great chastisement and that most of us will suffer greatly.
But in the end the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Immaculate Heart of Mary will prevail. St. Michael leads angels and us Christians in our part in this battle. One of our weapons is our own cross God gives us, to embrace it and offer it up, so by doing that we help conquer sin and evil.
And so my little life continues. I embrace my own cross. I offer it up. And I give it to St. Michael as a kind of weapon, a sword, to take my own suffering and thrust it through the devil and help send him back to hell, in the name of Christ. I accept my own participation in this great chastisement that is descending upon us in this, perhaps final battle over the eternal destiny of mankind. All for the greater glory of God. Lord have mercy on us.