Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Common Problems in Marriages. Solutions.

I recall sitting in a pew hearing a sermon from a traditional priest how marriages between traditionalist Catholics have a relatively high rate of divorce, not dissimilar to secular marriages.

And I also recall driving the same priest across town and talking about this subject.  As I recall, he said that basically the problem on the male side is that men put work and money first as their foremost priority, and fall into bad, immature habits.  Basically addictions:  addiction to work/alcohol/video games/eating/you name it.  On the female side, they fall into the attitudes of feminism.  They often partly reject the traditional roles of a woman as being subordinate to their husbands, but often end up wearing the pants in the relationship.

That was one priest's take.  Do you agree?

I have my own opinions from being a married man.  The pressures of society to have a certain material level of financial success are enormous.  Those are inhuman, transhuman, unnatural physical forces that the male psyche is not designed to conform to, and still maintain a state of peace, harmony, stability, and order.  At first glance, those last words might seem effeminate.  They are not.  From a traditional Catholic persepective, they are manly.

And at the same time, women feel the burden of living up to the  modern, American socio-economic ideal, in order to make friends in the church and community, and to gain much needed emotional support as mothers and wives.  They are pressured to worship at the same altar of $ as men.  And if the man shows imperfections which suggest he might not be quite up to speed to secure a steady flow of modern comfort and convenience, then those faults can be easily targeted, even if he is hard-working and responsible.

The work place, as is every sphere of society today, is being more and more ruled by social Darwinism.  And Darwinism is a false science and philosophy.  At its heart, it denies an all loving Creator who rules over us with an all wise, and providing Providence.  Whereas the Catechism instructs families to be open to as many children as God and nature sends, as long as they are working, being responsible, and trusting in God's Providence, the modern society of 2017 places its trust in the same exact things man has always been tempted to place there trust in--the world.  St. Augustine tried to warm us about the difference between the City of God and the City of Man.  And Our Lord taught that one thing that controls and rules over the hearts of ungodly men is the disordered emphasis on $.  Not $ itself, but on a disordered emphasis on it.

The world says we must "live to work," rather than "work to live."  The modern way is to serve the collective.  In the end, it doesn't matter if that collective is the socialist state, or a capitalist beehive of greed and material excess.  The false god is still the same. 

Solutions?

I defer to what the Church has been saying these last millennia.  She says to pray the daily rosary, consecrate the home to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, to participate in Catholic Action (especially through the parish), and to order the family life towards religion.  To make religious practices such a prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, or doing the spiritual and corporal works of mercry, a priority over the pursuit of a six-figure salary, the newest I-phone, or materially impressing friends and acquaintances.

But I offer my own ideas for what they are worth.  And I will just speak to the men, being a guy.  Guys, this includes me, we must get to the center of reality in our daily lives:  prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  Those sacrifices will only strengthen us, and in the end also help us in our careers and material goals.  Our model should be St. Joseph, who was a very quiet, hard-working man, constantly praying and making sacrifices.

Here's praying I myself can become a better man, and husband!

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